RUE Looks to "Cash In" on Sudden Popularity

Mr. OneEar, High Priestest and Chosen One of the First Unichurck (a faith based initiative) and Chief Chief Chief of RUE, Ltd has announced an initial public offering of stock in the wholly owed subsidiary SendMeCash.com (SMC). Ear acknowledges that RUE’s IPO of stock in the rapidly growing SMC may come as a surprise to some analysts.

"Who did what now?" asked one leading Wall Street homeless man.

"RUE has enjoyed modest success as a private venture," says Ear, "much more modest than I had anticipated. "But the upside potential for this venture is enormous."

Despite the fact that nobody wanted to hear any more about this subject, Ear continued, "One year ago, nobody expected us to make a cent. RUE was not even on the radar screen of many analysts."

Ear begs comparison of the company's dismal past with its awesome prospects for growth. "We earned $2.16 this year as compared with $0.00 last year. If you do the math, that represents an infinite growth rate. Did Microsoft have infinite growth in the past year?" With numbers like these, Ear expects investors to flock to SMC. "I've already ordered my speedboat," says Ear, so I hope these angel investors hurry up.

According to Ear, SMC does not have any recognizeable business activity per se. "But look at the growth," says Ear. "Numbers do not lie. They just don't. Lie, that is. Numbers, I'm speaking about."

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The preceding represents a forward looking statement which consists of facts and opinions which may or may not be based within the realm of generally recognized reality (GRR). Any statement contained therein may be a delusional fiction made for purposes of defrauding investors and should therefore be taken lightly if at all. I mean, seriously!

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POO NEWS
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Alceste Ahead of Art

Award winning filmaker Martin Creed, having recently released his film involving 19 vignettes of people vomiting to camera, has indicated his work on the Shit Film.

the Shit Film. As the title suggests, this will involve footage of people defecating to camera. It will be shot on widescreen CinemaScope against the backdrop of an "infinity curve" - an apparently seamless background that gives the impression of there being no horizon line between the floor and the wall.

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Murderer Paints With Hair, M&Ms

Donny Johnson is a killer convicted of killing a friend to death over PCP laced cigarettes and then of stabbing a prison guard. Like most artists, his creative urge causes him to murder people. Thank you to the NY Times for featuring this misunderstood soul. If only he would paint with his own sh!t.