Friday, December 12, 2008

Missed Apocalypse Day One -- admitting there's a problem

My first clue that I had recently missed the Apocalypse was the realization that all the people around me are assholes. Seriously, I can’t imagine a group of people less deserving of being snatched from a scourged Earth by some giant puffy arms of some giant puffy Jesus than the group of louts that I encounter on a daily basis. Of course this means that I too didn’t make the cut; but really that comes as no surprise. I mean between the things I did to Heather Locklear in the early eighties (things she isn’t even aware of) and my more recent forays into the pleasures of daytime drunkenness and careless abandon, I really wasn’t expecting much. It’s just that as I sit here patiently in the tire store reviewing the blatant overcharges on my bill and watching as rubber tires made via a toxic process are mounted without care on my gas-guzzling car while at the same time my old tires make their way to a landfill where they will remain well after I’m dead; and as I try to avoid the strange seven-year-old boy with a runny nose who is also at the tire store and who thinks that it is fun to follow me around and mimic the things I do; and as I make no attempt to disguise the contempt and downright hatred I hold for this boy and his not-even-close-to-being-hot mother, I can’t help but think that the “End of Days” have passed me by. Oh well, at least we are all in it together.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Constipated Credit Markets

Bloomberg, Nov. 10, 2008
The Federal Reserve is refusing to identify the recipients of almost $2 trillion of emergency loans from American taxpayers or the troubled assets the central bank is accepting as collateral.

Merry Christmas! Now, in addition to an insurance company, some investment banks, and, shortly, three auto manufacturers, you and your grandchildren are major investors in the "Mystery Spot."

Shocking News - Illinois Democratic Political Machine is Corrupt

Who could have seen this coming?
"Blagojevich became the fourth of the past seven governors elected in Illinois to be arrested."

It really is fortunate that Obama managed to rise to the top from out of the Crook County political apparatus without engaging in any of the unlawful practices upon which the machine operates. Just lucky I guess.

Still, I'm glad I voted for Obama. 1) My vote absolved me of all white guilt. 2) The takeover of the Republican Party by the God-nuts is fully underway. McCain's election would have tempered these idiots for awhile, whereas now they are fully unconstrained to self-destruct. 3)We need to stop spending money rebuilding shit-holes. If we need a blow-em-up foreign policy, then lets blow things up. This "You break it you bought it" doesn't fly. If I break it, I just place something over it and make my way toward the exit. You should be thankful I'm shopping there in the first place. 4) I was tired of backing a loser. I haven't voted for the winning Presidential candidate in any election ever. It feels good to be part of something much larger - such as a mob.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

For Shame, For Shame

It has often been attested that idol blog editors are gateway enablers for shameless self-promotion. What do you think?