The only official site of The First Unification Church of Kooking (fka the First Unification Church of Knowledge)(aka 1st Unichurck) and its house band, the Clown Squad (Affiliated with the community service organization The Underminers' Society of America). --THIS BLOG IS FOR RELIGIOUS, SCIENTIFIC AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY--(Not tested on animals)
16 comments:
Hi One Ear,
To quote William Tecumseh Sherman “War is Hell”. I saw friends of mine go to Vietnam in the ‘60’s, to fight in a senseless war. I hoped after that fiasco that the Country had learned its lesson about engaging in aggressive militaristic armed conflict, but it’s become apparent some of our Leaders skipped that chapter in their history book. Déjà vu for too many of us….
War is not Hell. Hell is fictional. Unfortunately, this mess is not.
Hi One Ear,
If only we could wake up some morning and find out this entire conflict has just been one big nightmare....Maybe then we’d be able to concentrate on all the problems in our own Country that need tending to so desperately.
Now THAT was funny.
Thank you.
FAMILIAR QUOTATIONS
"A new study suggests that middle-aged adults who go on periodic drinking binges may face a heightened risk of dementia later on in life. The study is entitled, 'National Strategy for Victory in Iraq.'" --Tina Fey
"I think the President is losing it. The BBC is reporting that Bush told a group of Palestinian ministers that God told him to invade Iraq. You see, that's what happens when you mix the New Testament and Old Milwaukee." --Bill Maher
"Rumors are that the reason Dick Cheney didn't say anything about the hunting accident for about 24 hours was because he had been drinking. And I'm thinking, well jeez, he was probably drinking when we planned the invasion of Iraq." --David Letterman
"During an address from the aircraft carrier, the USS Lincoln, President Bush declared the war in Iraq a success saying no terrorist network will gain weapons of mass destruction from the Iraqi regime because it turns out they didn't have any." —Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
"In Iraq, the U.S. military's whack-a-mole approach to killing Saddam Hussein may have finally paid off. ... The bombs destroyed the area and left behind a 60-foot crater, or as coalition forces prefer to call it: a freedom hole." —Jon Stewart
"President Bush admitted that the United States went to war in Iraq based on bad intelligence. But he says knowing what we know now he would still do it again. So at least we're learning from our mistakes." --Jay Leno
"A rumor is circulating that Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld will retire next year. Today, Rumsfeld denied it, saying if you've seen my work in Iraq, you know I don't plan that far ahead." --Conan O'Brien
Hi One Ear,
These are funny quotes BUT bittersweet because they’re right on the mark. What’s that adage about “comedy is the mirror of life” or something.....
I find myself returning to the question that if the bozos who are promoting the War had sons and daughters who could be sent to the Middle East to risk their lives in this melee, would they be so gung ho to keep the conflict going? Somehow, I doubt it…..
Q: What is the fastest way to load a bus full of Iraqi children?
A: A pitchfork (because they're dead).
Hi OneEar,
This is a sad commentary on the war in the Middle East. Perhaps you should send it to Dubya, although I doubt he’d care. His “agenda” is unwavering, no matter who or what gets in his path of destruction.
Q: Why do you have to slow down for a "speed hump?"
A: Because the children are dead.
Q: How many Iraqi children does it take to screw in a democracy?
A: 400,000, each with two parents.
Q: How do you get an Iraqi out of a tree?
A: Shoot him.
Q: How do you build an infrastructure in a country that you have demolished?
A: What?
Q: Does the war in Iraq have anything to do with oil?
A: (I can't understand you with that cock in your mouth Mr. Rumsfeld.)
A guy walks into a bar, and he says to the bartender, "Hey, bartender, I would like to send my children off to kill someone else's children in order to establish a permanent military base in the Middle East. The way I figure it, if we fight them over there, there will be less of them to fight over here."
And the barkeep says, "What are you, some kind of moron?"
Hi OneEar,
Good Lord, where’d you come up with these bizarre quips? Did you bug the Oval Office and garner them from closed door meetings with those “in charge” of the Country’s Foreign Policy Program (assuming there is one)? These “jokes” are off-the-wall, but no doubt accurate as to what’s going through our “chiefs” minds (another assumption here: they’ve got cerebral matter).
I wonder why the United States is hell bent on trying to establish peace and order in an area of the world that will never cease their fighting and bickering. Megalomaniacs looking for their next thrill….
I've got nothing against megalomaniacs. Delusions of grandeur are some of my favorite hobbies.
I just don't think children are for killing. Call me new-fashioned.
Post a Comment