Friday, July 25, 2008

OneEar Is Re-Arisen!

OneEar has re-seized the throne!

Enough Korean cuisine news!
Enough images of California service stations!
In short, enough of DokBok and his puppet regime!

Let's get back to the core beliefs that hold us FU-ing together.
Where is the rhino news?
Where is the Abu Gogo news?
Where is Coco's camera?

And, in the end, where is the
music?

Monday, July 21, 2008

Why has someone not brought this to my attention?


How long have you all known this and not made me aware? I must say I'm very disappointed in the general hierarchy and the parishioners. It reminds me of this.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Take Two Assburns and Call Me in the Moanin'

For the record, I've decided to document Dok Bok's long and continuing list of misdiagnoses relating to the health of your hero and mine, me.
  • Fall, 1986 - OneEar breaks the middle joint on his thumb. Bok, practicing medicine without a license (or even a degree in biology or zoology or psychology or whatever he "studied") assures the young, naive OneEar that he can safely play volleyball in a cast.
  • Spring, 1987. OneEar falls off of a mountain and is miraculously saved by a vine that catches him by the throat. Bok, again drunk and unlicensed, prescribes OneEar 750 mL bourbon, stat.
  • Fall, 1990 - OneEar is forced to have knee surgery due to a rugby injury. Bok's physical therapy regiment consists of climbing the football stadium wall and then hobbling around without crutches.
  • Fall, 1992 - OneEar begins suffering from a long and increasingly problematic series of digestive issues which Dok Bok believes to be "restless insides syndrome."
  • Spring, 2006. OneEar's symptoms following an incident in which someone falls on his leg during a basketball game include extreme shooting, throbbing ankle pain, extreme swelling, and a "broken ankle-like appearance." Dok Bok diagnoses pancreatitis due to alcohol abuse.
  • Spring, 2007. OneEar begins suffering with increasing frequency from what appear from the inside to be heart attacks. Although the incidents are later properly diagnosed by another doctor as atrial fibrillation, Dok Bok chalks it all up to "The Holidays."