Roaming the streets in business suits, blood dripping from their chins. Ducking through the city's parks, dodging bullets fired by the invading army of Somali schoolgirls. Rampaging through an experimental women's prison. Clawing their way out of graves, on a murderous march to reunite with the Deathbringer. And so forth.
We're talking of course about zombies. If you haven't been paying attention — and if you haven't been paying attention, heaven help you — zombies are back.
Fortunately for parishioners of the First Unichurck, you were provided with information quite some time ago about how to protect your family from zombies.
We would just like to take this opportunity to congratulate ourselves once again on the First Unichurck's leadership on this issue, on our predictive intuition and on how in tune we are with the undead. What we failed to appreciate was the link between the zombie uprising, the impending rupture, and the bird flu. The New York Times connected the dots:
"People have apocalypse on the brain right now," Mr. Brooks said. "It's from terrorism, the war, natural disasters like Katrina." Several zombie aficionados said there was a zombielike quality to the spread of the bird flu.
My mind is clearer now. At last, all too well, I can see where we all soon shall be.
Which raises the next logical question, should a zombie scene be written into the script for The Sick Scents? "Strike while the paranoia is hot," I always say*.
*Actually, I've never said that before even once, but it sounds like the kind of thing that I would always say.
1 comment:
I didn't quite know where to post this, but wanted to remind you that you are on the schedule for the Gasbag Review next Sunday.
If there are any problems, just drop me a comment and let me know.
Thanks!
ATM
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