Friday, March 17, 2006

Rusty says, Eating Gelatin is OK!

Kay said,
"gelatin is not kosher in case you were concerned"

Dear Kay,

These arbitrary dietary rules and restrictions are just another reason to leave you Old World Religion behind and join up with Rusty's First UnichurK. Rusty not only permits the consumption of gelatin, but he encourages it. In fact, Rusty Enterprises in one of the world's leading suppliers of gelatin and gelatin-like products.

What makes Rusty's gelatin so special? Well, as you may or may not be aware, gelatin is made from "cowlagen"…and Rusty Enterprise uses only the purest source of cowlagen –COWS! To find out more about how we process our cows in our state-of-the-art rendering facility located in beautiful Charlestown, MA, and to discover why Rusty Enterprises has earned the title "the Gentle Renderer," click here.

Many companies may say that their most valuable asset is their employees but at Rusty Enterprises we know it's true…especially since our entire staff consists of Abu Gogo workers who are prized for their small features and keen sense of smell, and who are also easily tricked into contracts of long servitude. The Abu Gogo oversee the processes that transforms various cow elements into assorted Rusty gelatin and gelatin-like products and you can learn more about that here.

So, Kay, when it comes to gelatin we encourage you to gather as much information as possible and then come out to one of Rusty's First UnichurK ceremonies where you can sample a Gummy Lamb. We promise you won't burn in Hell and the first one is free.

5 comments:

Charlie said...

Did I read something about sloppy slop? I LOVE sloppy slop! I did not know, however, that it contains gelatin; is that perhaps what sticks in my teeth?

OneEar said...

Cocoa,

This is great news! I'll see if marketing can line up Bill Cosby for an ad campaign. If not, we'll shoot for Rita Cosby of MSNBC. If she's unavialable, well try for Marga Rita's for happy hour.

I'll reconstitute the sloppy slop recipe per charlie's request

OneEar said...

Cocoa,

This is some of your best work. I can't stop re-viewing the graphics.

Kay Adler said...

What perks can I get as a member of the Rusty Church? As a member of the chosen people I get many member benefits including a feeling of superiority over members of cults and home-grown religions. The only down side is not eating gelatin.

cocoa_no_gogo said...

1) Participation in Springtime Sexual Rite

2) RustyWhear