The only official site of The First Unification Church of Kooking (fka the First Unification Church of Knowledge)(aka 1st Unichurck) and its house band, the Clown Squad (Affiliated with the community service organization The Underminers' Society of America). --THIS BLOG IS FOR RELIGIOUS, SCIENTIFIC AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY--(Not tested on animals)
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Dr. Lbok Asked to Opine on Need for Bird Flu Panic
I need a little help here. A controversy has erupted over the need for panic about the bird flu. See Sven's discussion of the issue. Some say we should panic now while others say we should have panicked long ago. One would always like to know exactly when to panic, and fortunately, experts have weighed in on the matter including someone named Dr. Know.
At first I thought Dr. Know was a psuedonymn for our very own Loud but off key. However, after I read a few of her posts, I realized that she is not him. It started me to thinking, though - why not ask our very own Dr. Lbok about this bird flu issue.
From the little reading I have done on the subject, it appears that one should not have unprotected intercourse with a chicken (unless you personally know the bird to be virginal). Apparently, you also should not keep chicken in your house. I'm not clear on how you're supposed to cook it, but I guess grilling out is always an option. I believe that it is still safe to hypnotize chickens.
However, I still don't know whether my terror about this avian bird chicken flu is overdue. Dr. Lbok, I need an opinion, stat.
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3 comments:
It appears that I may be the control case for human avian flu. I wore a condom, but I forgot to wash my hands afterward. Oh, dopey me!
I believe that my research paper may be of some assistance:
Dr. Charlie Sweitzer
Then again, perhaps it isn't worth a chicken crap.
Rear-Admiral Scooper;
This is some fine work, sir. However, regarding your condom/hand washing issue, you might be wearing your prophylatic on the wrong appendage.
Dr. LBOK here. I recommend panicking now, rather than taking him home and shooting him later. Something's bound to go wrong on the trip home. That handwasher is a complete f%#@$$t, and nearly everything he wrote is inaccurate, masturbatory fodder typical of a rash-scratching obsessive-compulsive little freak.
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