Monday, June 26, 2006
Underminers Society Sewing Its Oaths
Members of the Underminers Society, the secretive burrowing group that now meets at the FU Annex on Saturday evenings, began a Friendship Hankie fundraiser project last week. Throughout history, folk-artistic social groups have sewn individual cloth squares which are later joined to form a large group quilt called a "friendship blanket."
Inspired by this concept, the Underminers launched their Friendship Hankie project. The hankie was originally chosen over the blanket as the medium of expression because it is smaller and much easier to carry in a pocket. However, the cloth hankie was seen as irrelevant in today's disposable society.
For that reason, and because they are more adept at tunneling than at sewing, the Underminers quickly adapted their project to modern technology. Underminers Friendship Hankies are modern, 3-ply white tissue papers upon which very personalized messages have been written in permanent ink.
Many Underminers use their "Snotsheets" as they call them, to describe their innermost thoughts on topics ranging from their own shortcomings to the shortcomings of their parents and even society at large. It is hoped that these will be hot sellers, and the proceeds will be applied toward the purchase of a shovel.
EDITORIAL: We, at the First Unichurck, wish the Underminers the best in this endeavor. We know that some FU members also belong to the Underminers, and, based upon what we know about them so far, we acknowledge your right to belong to both groups. It is not clear to us why the Underminers have their bizarre initiation rite during which they take a hideous blood oath to a pagan deity, but, other than that, they seem pretty innocuous, ableit a bit dusty.