Clarice Jailed

Clarice the Doe, on-and-off girlfriend and one-time fiance' of Ru-D-Rude (formerly Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer), was indicted yesterday on prostitution and racketeering charges.

Tipped off by alert blogger Sven in a blog comment, Federal Investigators swarmed an abandoned Rustywhearhouse which formerly housed Spanko inventory for Rusty Enterprises. Police say Clarice's alleged prostitution and oxycontin distribution activities were headquartered at the facility.

Known for her trademark long eyelashes and the wag of her tail, Clarice long ago lost the charm that made her so appealing to a generation of TV viewers. She lived the classic rags to riches back to rags story that is unfortunately so common among the Hollywood set. As a young fawn, Clarice attained stardom in the classic TV special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. But fame and fortune did not suit the young hoofed ruminant. The misfit toys she met during filming soon lured her into the darker shadows, she began experimenting with exotic grasses and soon fell in with a rough crowd of elk.

It was only a matter of time before Clarice began offering her own cute little tail in order to support her habits. Her hide was for sale, and there was no shortage of demand for that shammy. As time passed, she rose to the head of an international crime syndicate. Recent criminal activity attributed to her organization includes orchestrating the creation of false Swedish masturbation TV stories and financing porn star wine label projects. But selling her own crusty wares remained her personal bread and butter.

Clarice's customers now fear what she may tell investigators in a plea bargain deal. One interviewee, who asked to remain anonymous but whose name is Michael Leslie Clouse, said, "That damned doe is a liar. That hundert I gave her weren't stolen, and I don't even know her nohow!"

We will follow this story as it develops further through further developments.