But this was not the troubling part. While the children were assembling at the preschool pre-trip, the teacher gathered them together to sing some of their favorite songs. The first was an innocuous greeting song about "welcome everybody" or some such shit. Then, the wheels came off.
I should have told you that the kids and teacher were singing along to a CD. This means that someone recorded, published and distributed this collection of auditory fecal matter.
Song #2 filled me with shock and awe. Those of you who have not heard this particular number may have difficulty believing the following retelling, but I swear on a stack of award-winning "What Color is My Pair of Shoes - Career Advice for a New Millenium By an Award Winning Award Winner" books that this is true.
McDonalds, McDonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Hut.
McDonalds, McDonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Hut.
McDonalds, McDonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Hut.
McDonalds, McDonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Hut.
Etc. There were verses about Wendys, Arbys, Burger King, Dairy Queen and always the above refrain. I shit you negative.
Not only that, there were gestures. Both arms arched to form the golden arches, and so forth. AND, the kids all knew the song and the gestures.
I must admit that I sat dumbfounded and silent during the entire excrutiating event. While we were shuttling toward the bus, I asked the teacher, "Uh, what is the deal with that McDonalds song."
She shrugged sheepishly and said, "I know its not the best kind of food, but the kids really like it."
Again, I was speechless. Sure the kids need constant advertising bombardment in order for us to spend our way out of this post-911 slump. But must they become part of the advertisement? Am I missing something or is this what it sounds and appears to be?
While I pondered, weak and weary, her words came back to haunt me: "its not the best kind of food, but the kids really like it."
8 comments:
When I was in pre-school we sang 99 bottles of beer on the wall.
"I know it's not the best kind of beverage, but the kids really like it."
Point well taken. Now that you mention it, we used to sing "Here comes the king, here comes the king ..." on the school bus. To this day, I can't stand Budweiser.
Hi OneEar,
This is a perfect example of “brainwashing” for the sake of the almighty dollar. I wonder what hidden connotations this little ditty holds:
Mary had a little lamb,
Little lamb, little lamb,
Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know."
Loves the lamb, you know, loves the lamb, you know
"Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know."
The teacher did reply
McDonald’s is laughing all the way to the bank while we’ve got a nation of obese, unhealthy kids. I place the blame squarely on the parents for allowing this to happen. Do you think they’re ever heard of fruits, vegetables and healthy eating?
I used to to sing the "I'm a pepper, he's a pepper" Dr. Pepper song continually in elementary school. But this may have just been b/c of the sexual undertones contained therein.
I also remember singing Pink Floyd's The Wall on some school field trips. (We were a rebellious class).
However, your experience shows that It may be time for the revolution. I wait patiently for the signal. In the meantime, I'll continue to add Tom Waits and Leonard Cohen to my son's bedtime CDs.
Coco:
Hey, I used to sign "The Wall" in class too. It wasn't until much later that I discovered Alice Cooper's "Schools Out" and The Ramones' "Rock 'n' Roll High School".
My kids are afraid of Tom Waits.
My children now listen exclusively to Clown Squad originals.
Coco, I've been giving you the signal for quite some time now. Are we on the same channel?
Sven,
Actually, my son finds Tom Waits scary too, but I discovered I can use this to my advantage.
"Son, if you don't get down from there by the time I count to three, I going to put the scary man CD on again and this time without the nightlight."
It works every time.
OneEar,
Awhile ago, Meg, the compulsive liar, indicated on her blog that God spoke to her via the WB network. Since then, I have been watching that channel religiously and exclusively.
Oh dear.
Post a Comment