Dateline - Alameda, CA. AP reports that a Clown is running for the city's highest public office.
Usually, I don't support anything that happens West of the incontinental divide. But, in this case, I urge the Churck's full endorsement of the candidacy of whatever his name is, you know, the clown.
Speaking of Berkeley, I see that the Nobel Prize in Physics was awarded to the guys that did the Cobe project and thereby provided strong evidence of the "Big Bang." They looked for and found cosmic microwave radiation variations, so that pretty much ends that discussion. Now, we just have to figure out how Rusty caused the Big Bang.
The only official site of The First Unification Church of Kooking (fka the First Unification Church of Knowledge)(aka 1st Unichurck) and its house band, the Clown Squad (Affiliated with the community service organization The Underminers' Society of America). --THIS BLOG IS FOR RELIGIOUS, SCIENTIFIC AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY--(Not tested on animals)
23 comments:
Hi OneEar,
Why should a clown running for mayor of Alameda, California, surprise you? This is the State that’s living under the regime of the “Governator”. Kenneth Kahn, a.k.a. “Kenny the Clown” is comparable to Sony Bono’s being mayor of Palm Springs and then being elected to the U.S. House of Representatives in 1994, representing the 44th District. We are the “land of fruits and nuts” out here in smoggy Mexifornia.
/bark bark bark
more like the big rupture aint it? how goes the recovery?
/grrrr
Hi OneEar,
If “Kenny the Clown” becomes the mayor of Alameda, California, are you going to ask him to join “The Clown Squad”? He’d probably consider it a real honor to join your exclusive club and hang out with such prestigious fellows.
ML--
we'll probably all just move to Alameda. It will be easier at the end of the day.
ML - I am not surprised that Clowns are seizing the reigns of power. I am surprised that it has taken so long.
K9 - I am better than ever, thanks for asking.
LBok - The end of what day?
K9 raises an interesting possiblity: Is The Rupture the Big Bang? Is space/time a loop which begins and ends at the same explosive moment of singularity?
I will check with Ms. Pineapple.
Hi Loud but off key,
You might want to check out Alameda before you make the decision to move there. Even if “Kenny the Clown” wins the mayoral seat, you’ll no doubt find the area a bit lacking for anything resembling culture and/or scenic beauty. The town came sprang to life during World War II as a major Naval Base; other than deteriorate and expand, it has little to offer.
Hi OneEar,
I was under the impression that the Clowns had already seized the reign of power in Washington, D.C. Perhaps Kenneth Kahn is starting his political career in Alameda and has his size-18 clown shoes aimed at the Oval Office for 2012.
OneEar, concerning your comment:
"Is space/time a loop which begins and ends at the same explosive moment of singularity?"
This is exactly what BratwurstundSauerkraut and I were discussing via the phone yesterday (were you listening in somehow?)
I wish my universe would rip apart already. Then maybe I could get my hands on some of that dark matter I keep hearing about.
There is no Big Crunch; no Samsara; no Parousia
Just miles and miles of endless track
Don't worry though:
We'll start the show after one more sound check
Shifting gears:
When flirting, I often suggest to women that I can take them to a place that "knows no space or time". Almost always, these women think I am talking about my cellar, and they start to move away. Luckily, Snotty usually shows up soon after, and he is able to smooth things over.
Coco,
Please tap your Irish roots and provide me with an additional bridge and perhaps a verse for Happy Bigamy
Hi OneEar,
Does your wife like this verse for “Happy Bigamy”?? A harpy or a shrew? It’s actually quite droll.
She takes little of what I say personally. It really gets on my nerves.
Hi OneEar,
Does she pay attention when you start talking to your other personae in three part harmony? Is she able to decipher which “you” is speaking? Which one of your cast of characters does she get on the nerves of?
OneEar,
I'll work on the song. Recently, I asked a girl what she though it would be like if she and I were married.
Have you seen the HBO show Big Love?
Litzi, your continual intimations that I don't exist are beginning to confuse me. Perhaps you are correct and I am just a figment of OneEar's imagination. That would certainly make things easier.
Hi cocoa no gogo,
Please don’t feel bad. I’m the one that’s confused because I’m unable to keep you and OneEar separate. Here’s a thought; maybe OneEar is a fantasy created by YOU. Or, neither one is real. But, someone’s creating these blogs.
Coco,
What makes you believe that I'm not Ms. Litzi?
I don't have HBO, but a quick search reveals that the referenced show deals with Mormon bigamy. Perhaps the Churck should follow Joseph Smith's lead on this one. At least for blowjobs.
BTW - Regarding the possibility that "There is no Big Crunch; no Samsara; no Parousia" - That is the gamble.
Flip the coin and it is Pasqual's wager.
Hi OneEar,
You said “what makes you believe that I’m not Ms. Litzi?” The last time I checked, I’m still me. I see no resemblance whatsoever to either you or cocoa no gogo when I look in the mirror. But things can change. I think the LDS or Mormon Church has outlawed bigamy. That doesn’t mean it’s no longer practiced; it’s just more covert. I’m sure there are some primitive Island countries where it’s still an accepted way of life, but you might have to forego your computer for the luxury of having several wives…..
ML, from Coco's perspective, you and I are the same. Not you.
I'm not sure it would be a luxury to have several wives. It would just license more people to tell me that I am an idiot, and we don't really need more of those licensees. Nonetheless, I am doing some further research on Flores Island just to keep my options open.
Joe! Welcome back. I haven't seen you since you got teed off.
Now that the Clown uprising is under way, your counsel may prove invaluable.
"The teapot," as you call her, is the closest thing we've ever had to a groupie. Perhaps she'll even carry our amps.
Hi OneEar,
Cocoa no gogo is a perceptive individual. You and I are not the same in any manner, shape or form; you wouldn’t want to be labeled a California crazy, would you? As for the notion of having several wives, it’d probably be exceedingly expensive, unless they were all heiresses like Paris Hilton and Tori Spelling. If people became irate about your being a bigamist, you could go into rehab, say you were molested as a child and claim to be an alkie. These lame excuses seem to be working rather well for Mark Foley at the moment.
“The teapot” is too old to be a groupie, let alone carry your amps, but I appreciate your kind offer. As for Joe the Lucky Clown’s Head, a.k.a. “chuckles”, perhaps chewing on some tea leaves might be just the antidote for whatever’s ailing him.
OneEar,
Back to the gambling train thing:
Is that really the gamble we are talking about? If so then I am all in.
With throttle full open
we go lurching round the bend
See the tunnel in the distance
with No Exit at its end
Imagine there's no Heaven? What the Heck?
This everlasting train were on won't wreck.
Pascal's Wager doesn't merit comment.
I referred to "Pasqual's wager" not "Pascal's wager."
My friend Blaze Pasqual is always betting me that there is no God. He is such a fool.
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