Now they've really gotten my dandruff up! These furriners are going around singing our national anthem, and they're singing it Spanish! If that's not a good enough reason to pull our old pointy hats and robes out of their commemorative trophy cases, then I'm afraid that I just don't I don't know what is. My people have lived here for a long time, and this means that I am right.
How dare those furriners honor this country! If they can't sing my praises in English, then they shouldn't praise me at all. Our national anthem is a remarkable tribute to the moon landing, and the rockets red glare wasn't accomplished by a bunch of furriners (other than a few Germans, but they don't count). The last thing we need is a bunch of non-englishers mucking up our educational system.
When Columbus discovered America, he planted the stars and stripes and declared English our official language. It has been that way ever since, so get over it. Nobody wants to hear you mariaching all over the place in your gobblety gook about this great land. "Jose can you see?" Stop singing about the Estar Espangled Bannero! Why don't you just swim back to Spain and make some tacos.
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3 comments:
You're a durn fool, OneEar. Anybody with an ounce of brain knows that Columbus didn't discover anything but a festering boil on his left buttock from sitting on too much hardtack. It was the guy in the Old Crow's nest who discovered America when he yelled, "Lookit, there's the Statuette of Liberty!"
And what in tarnation is an Allen Grant? Hmmm?
I stand erected. Why, then, is Columbus celebrated annually through unbelievably low priced linens and pillowcases? Did he invent the cotton gin? How about the martini? Immigration policy really is confusing.
To answer your question as to "What..(expletive deleted)..is an Allen Grant" would take many moons. As a point of reference, he is Kristin's husband.
Ah, Kristen's husband. I still don't get it. Sound like Muggle names to me.
This place ain't goin' straight, is it???
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