The First UniChurck has long subscribed to the so-called Golden Rule. "Do Unto Others," it is said, "as you would have others do unto you." It is time to reconsider.
Let's suppose, for the sake of argument, that I would have others dress up like characters from Sesame Street and urinate unto my chest. Do you see how this golden rule breaks down?
Just yesterday, I was wearing my Prairie Dawn outfit, and I saw my neighbor watering her plants. Thinking quickly about religion, I ran across the street and pissed on her. Do you think she had the decency to thank me? Apparently she belongs to a different church as do several members of our local law enforcement agency.
So, I have put in a request to Rusty that we amend this rule to read: "Do not piss unto thy neighbor whilst wearing a PBS-related costume." If only we could all live by this simple rule, the world would be a better place.
5 comments:
A golden shower fountain. Back in my drinking days, I was a human golden shower fountain. I would fall down (always at the nearest falling-down place), fumble with my fly for twenty minutes, and voila!
"It's raining YELLOW!" I remember exclaiming with gleeful wonderment. Next morning, however, I wondered why I smelled like the men's urinal at a urologists convention.
OneEar, you never fail to bring back fond memories.
BTW: Am I still a high church mucky-muck, or have I been de-flocked?
Brother, when you've been de-flocked, you'll know it.
Oh My.
You boys are too much!
I think Mom disapproves of our boyish good fun. She oughta stick around for the pissing-for-distance contest. Now that's fun!
I take it, then, that de-flocking really hurts. A lot. No one mentioned it at my ordinalization.
You need to get together with gentleman-hobbs, you'll find him in my comments, for the chicken boobs.
See you in a week.
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