Funny thing happened last night. I awoke in the hospital. Granted, its not the first time, but I really am getting too old for this kind of shit.
Here are the facts: I awoke in the hospital. I guess I already went over that. I have a splitting headache and a large, baseball bat-sized welt on the side of my head. My lip is split to the tune of three or four stitches and I have abrasions, contusions, and other sions all over my face. My wallet and keys are missing as is my memory. Those of you who know me are probably saying, "yeah, so what's the funny part." That is why I refer to you as assholes.
I have cancelled my credit cards, and I don't really need a driver's license, but I lost my 10trip to the carwash with 8 trips remaining. I am thinking that I'll hang out at the car wash waiting for my victimizer, and when he is trapped in his soapy grave, I'll detonate an atomic bomb. Some would call this overkill, but I think it is appropriate given the level of my anger.
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9 comments:
Geezus. I'm glad you're okay (and amazed you can find humor in a mugging). Ouch. Hope you heal up quickly and good luck with the well-deserved explosives.
I cry to keep from laughing.
Thanks for your good thoughts. I'm not sure what I did to deserve such bad karma, but I'm glad that I got it out of the way.
How does one go about making an atomic bomb? I know I've got some atoms around here somewhere.
Holy cow! I mean sheep!
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Hope you feel better soon. :-(
Dude, that sucks. You want me to rub him out?
Jesus, One, I'm really shocked to hear (read) about this. Mugging is one thing, but a beating is extra salt in the wounds. Apparently the drug addicts you financed are also mean drug addicts.
Get well soon, friend.
Charlie.
I'm really sorry to hear about this. I hope that you're on the mend now.
Take Care x
Just checking in to see how you're felling...
Holy crap. did anyone tell you how you got to the hospital?
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