Monday, January 29, 2007

The Crying Game Farm

Old Grumpy Sergeant, the retired prize-winning pig, calls a meeting of all of the animals of the Game Farm, (reservations available). Present are Bucky the workhorse, Snoballs the llama, Nappy the goat, and Squealy the squirrel. Col the barn-cat may or may not be present, and ditto for some other animals.

  • Snoballs – Ok, let’s call this meeting to order. Roll call – Snoballs, “here.” Old Grump,
  • Bucky – Snoballs, you are out of order. There was not a second to your motion for roll call.
  • Squealy – You don’t need a second for a roll call. It is not a motion, it is a procedure.
  • Snoballs – That’s right.
  • Bucky – I don’t think so,
  • Squealy - Where is the reference manual for my Robert’s Rulpod? What would it be under, roll or motion?
  • Nappy – Oh, it would definitely be under roll, because motion is the broader, or more generic, if you will, classification, while roll relates only to the specific instance wherein …
  • Old Grump – Would you harfing sterks shut the froach up. Listen you mother-froaching boaxx, I had a harfing dream that I must tell you about. There was a…. A time came when ….. Froach! Now I can’t remember what it was about.
  • Bucky – Was it about the removal of all parasitic humans so that the noble animals can live free in a utopia of peace and harmony?
  • Old Grump – Ok.

A knock is heard at the door. Busty Foxxx, a buxom young lass with nondiscriminating taste enters wearing a feathered Mardi Gras mask, a Rusty thong, and nothing else. She is riding a panther bareback.

  • Busty Foxxx – I’m here to do you, I mean, to do your books.
  • Nappy – Hey look. A girl.
  • Busty Foxxx– That’s right. I’m your new CPA, and let's just say I operate on the cash method.
  • Squealy- I’m afraid our organization actually operates on the accrual method, but it was nice of you to stop by.
  • Busty Foxxx– Don’t you guys know how this works. Everything I say involves sexual double entendre.
  • Bucky – Oh, then could you please fuck me a beer out of the fridge.
  • Old Grump – While you’re up, fetch me the piss bucket.

Busty returns with beers and the piss bucket.

  • Busty Foxxx– Ok, now where were we. Ask me what “CPA” stands for.
  • Snoballs – Could I take a quick look at your teeth?
  • Nappy - Did I mention that I am a doctor?
  • Bucky- Here, hold this between your breasts.
  • Busty Foxxx- You idiots couldn’t get laid by a pro during a porno shoot.

Busty Foxxx masturbates for just long enough, then leaves.

  • Bucky - ok where were we , oh yes, why don’t you sing us a revolutionary song about it.
  • Old Grump – Why don’t you eat my sterk.
  • Bucky – Fine, I’ll sing the revolutionary song..

    Without the Dudes
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2 comments:

Doc Bok said...

Poor Busty Foxxx. I didn't realize we were so frustrating to women.

Litzi said...

Hi OneEar,
What happened to the "Kindler Gentler Rusty"? This doesn't exactly fit the mold...


Hi Loud But Off Key,
Men are VERY frustrating...but I imagine women can annoy the hell out of men.