- Is it now acceptable to wear shoes? Socks? Pants?
- I understand that all liquids now must be contained in clear (ziplock-type) baggies. Does this apply to personal lubricant? Should you bring extra bags for urine? Can you mix toothpaste, cologne, triple antibiotic and fungal cream in the same bag?
- Is it still ok to bring a 5 Liter bag of wine (after removing the box) to drink in-flight?
- For how long prior to flying must you avoid clipping your nails?
- For how long prior to flying must you avoid voiding?
- Is our current national danger level color Unbelievably Dangerous or Unfathomably Dangerous? Are you supposed to be in a state of panic during the entire flight or only during boarding?
- Can you still sing show tunes during the tail end of the flight (after the wine is getting low)?
- When are you supposed to turn off cell phones? laptops? pace-makers? radial saws?
- Which guy is the Air-Marshall? Is it the guy with the big hat, shiny spurs, and the badge?
- Can you carry on your own handcuffs? gimp suit? gimp?
- Do they still ban fruit and drugs? Even on afternoon flights?
- Do they still discourage passengers from carrying on a crate full of hundreds of pieces of electronic paraphenalia ostensibly used for musical purposes but without any way of proving it because it is all inextricably tangled and the batteries are all dead and there is no amp to plug it all into anyway?
These are a few things I need to know.
5 comments:
Hi OneEar,
My suggestion is that you travel in your birthday suit wearing flip flops (to prevent acquiring a nasty foot disease from the filthy airport terminal floor). You should carry a clear plastic tote bag containing a set of clean underwear, which you could don once inside the plane. Purchase disposal clothes once you reach your destination and leave them in your hotel room upon departure. You won’t have to worry about any security clearance snafus or losing your luggage. If airport regulations become any more stringent, we’ll all have to travel in this fashion (or lack thereof).
Hey, OneEar, do you still have those two Asian kids with braces to help with reception? They may be able to help you with the TSA.
Litzi--be careful making any suggestions as to what he should or should not do in a hotel room; there have been concerns in the past...
Hahaha! It's been at least 8 years since I've flown, so I really couldn't tell you!
Hi Loud But Off Key,
My suggestions to OneEar were for getting him on and off the plane with relative ease around all the added security snafus. What he does in a hotel room is his problem. Perhaps you should accompany him and act as a “room monitor”. Though on second thought that may be like the fox guarding the hen house. Attila did mention that he was a “wolf in sheep’s clothing”
I was serious about the wine. Is there now a rule against this?
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