My assistant has submitted her notice of resignation due to a difference of opinion between us about the answer to the question, "Who is a prick?" Qualified candidates interested in an exciting opportunity in a growing field are encouraged to submit resumes with references, salary expectations, saliva, hair, tissue and blood samples, and a photograph.
Minimum qualifications include:
- Ability to type several words per minute.
- Telekinetic aptitude.
- Aversion to clothing.
- Affinity for gerbils.
- Must like to play "precocious schoolgirl," "naughty nurse," and "dead senator."
- Should be a "people person, " although a qualified "sheep person" may be considered.
- Interest in our business also useful.
This position is open to all in compliance with Federal and State equal employment statutes, and candidates will be considered fairly and equally regardless of race, creed or gender or whether they have large hoohaas.
2 comments:
Is swallowing a requirement?
Just curious, that's all.
That's crass. I judge a candidate based on ALL of her qualifications. That goes for employees as well as politicians.
"Judge not, Lassie, be judged," as the good book says.
Post a Comment