The gauntlet has been dropped, dear followers, and the True Church is under attack. The latest barrage of assault comes in the form of cartoons. Yes, cartoons, for God’s sake. This is no Beetle Bailey cartoon attack, this is pure Hagar the Horrible.
If they don’t stop depicting us as a bunch of crazed, violent fanatics, I am going to blow something up! First, we had to suffer through attacks by Hollywood and the secular media – “Rusty, Rusty Superstar,” and “The Last Temptation of Rusty,” to name just a few (actually, a couple). Just because a few bishops may have gotten a little too cozy with a few lambs doesn’t give anyone the right to label us “Sheepf^ck$rs.”
Enough is enough (contrary to what I wrote in my famous treatise “Is Enough Really Enough?”). Now is time for countermeasures, and the most productive response I can think of is a riot. Because many of us have real lives as well, it is unrealistic to try to get all followers together for a traditional riot.
Instead, I have devised a revolutionary new concept in rioting – The DIY Home Riot. On Saturday at 2:44am (just after bar time), we will all simultaneously trash our own living rooms in a powerful united show of force. Please RSVP your availability to riot so that we can get a rough head count.
1 comment:
Count me in. My wife's been riding my holy ass for months to rearrange the living room furniture.
"Put the altar over there, the Grail will look stunning in that corner . . ." You know how it is.
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