Thursday, April 17, 2008

Heather Mills headed for Verona


Recently, OneEar has confessed to never playing any of those songs which Ms. Mills, by all rights, really deserves credit and financial compensation for. (REALLY, Sir Paul, where do you get off? Did you think your wife's only talent was demonstrating her birth canal for money?) At the risk of being out of line, BurgerMeister Meisterburger's regime has officially extended an all-expenses-paid invitation to Ms. Mills for the upcoming Rusty Sessions recording gala/fiasco. "We will finally get someone to play that lesbian piss-boy we have contemplated for years, thanks to Ms. Mills," was the official statement. Let's just hope OneEar doesn't aggravate this charming woman by playing any of her songs.

16 comments:

litzi said...

Hi Doc Bok,
Ms. Mills will no doubt be remembered for being a complete screaming, whining asshole idiot bitch. Apparently Paul’s libido took control and he married the conniving woman despite his adult childrens’ warnings that she was after his $$$$ and celeb status. I hope Sir Paul has learned a lesson and refrains from marrying another gold digging bimbo. Let’s hope Heather Mills doesn’t accept BurgerMeister Meisterburger’s invitation and tempt OneEar to aggravate a stinky situation…

Doc Bok said...

well, hello, Ms. Litzi. Cocoa asked me to ask you if you clicked on the "birth canal" link. If so, what is your reaction?

Doc Bok said...

I think at least one crass comment about the colors of curtains and carpet is in order, don't you? Or something to that effect.

Doc Bok said...

I think I may be in love with Heather Mills. Is that wrong?

Doc Bok said...

because $50 million makes any woman hot to me

OneEar said...

I should have expected snatch and grab under the new regime.

As I may have mentioned earlier, for shame.

Doc Bok said...

I arrive Friday morning. Should I just go to your office? Where should the piss-boy meet us? I think she's coming in the new, $50 million limo company she just bought. Because she deserves it.

Doc Bok said...

do you need me to help file any papers, or make up for that slack part-timer? Should I review some cases and write some legal opinions for you? You know, until the other clowns show up?

litzi said...

Hi Doc Bok,
I’d seen the “snatch and grab” pictures of Heather Mills when they first hit the gossip sites. My reaction? Tasteless. Intended to tit-illate schoolboys and Howard Stern devotees. A form of Viagra for dirty old men. The day-glo red of her vulgar outfit makes the entire scene tacky and lascivious. However, I’m an atavist to the hippie generation and find Bob Guccione and his ilk tiresome. If Sir Paul didn’t know about the existence of these pornographic pictures, I feel vaguely sorry for him. However, if he knew and chose to ignore them until they were displayed all over the internet, Boo-Fu**ing-Hoo.
Did my comments live up to your expectations?? :)

litzi said...

Heather Mills open mouth looks like it’s waiting for a Kielbasa sausage…or whatever.

litzi said...

50 million dollars does not mean good taste or class. Heather Mills is in the same category as Britney Spears…

litzi said...

Perhaps Heather Mills and Jenna Jameson are sisters who were separated at birth…two porn stars.

litzi said...

Courtney Love (Mrs. Kurt Cobain) supposedly wants to move to the UK because she deems the American press is unkind to her. Heather Mills has made statements about moving to the United States because she doesn’t think she’s appreciated in England. Tit for tat; one eejit for another.

Doc Bok said...

So, Litzi, what do you think it is about seeing an uncovered vagina that makes men so crazy? It's really not an attractive organ, if you stop to think about it. Look at all the redundant flappy flesh. Liver, kidney--those are respectably attractive organs. Mambajamba? Less so. Now if we shift gears toward Jenna Jameson, she's pretty hot. If you could combine HER with $50 million, I would definitely commit.

Doc Bok said...

Litzi, your facile use of the term "Kielbasa" makes me think you might be Polish, like half of me and all of our good friend Cocoa. Well?

litzi said...

Hi Doc Bok,
Your question regarding what makes men so crazy about seeing an uncovered vagina is a doozy. I’ve no idea. Perhaps it has something to do with our culture’s mores (brainwashing) of crotches being discreetly covered up (except for Ms. Spears) when out in public. I assume some men consider them a big mystery and/or wonder why women are different from them. There’s probably some tiny turd world island in the middle of the Pacific where shielding one’s privates would be considered abnormal.

Jenna Jameson doesn’t need $50 million to make her a desirable commodity. All she has to do is flash her natural and augmented assets and men’s eyes go out on stalks.

No Polish ancestry in my family. I’m Vegan. Actually, I had to Google “Kielbasa” to get the correct spelling and I don’t recall ever having eaten one. 0U812?