Some might say that this was a bad year for yours truly, OneEar. The year began and ended with bookend strokes by my father, OneHWEar. This caused the entire Ear family untold anxiety. In April, I was beaten senseless and hospitalized by some overly-enthusiastic entrepreneurs who were engaged in a "give us your wallet" business enterprise. Recently, a friend somehow managed to get f^cked at the Virgin Islands. And, surprisingly, throughout the year, my get rich quick schemes were neither quick nor enriching. But those who might claim that the year 2006 sucked warthog scrotum would be wrong.
Why is that? Because I finally received a minute slice of the massive recognition which I so obviously deserve - I was named Time magazine "Man of the Year." Although I had neither the time nor the inclination to read beyond the cover of the magazine, I applaud Time for their admiration of me, and I applaud God for setting up the universe in such a fashion that I could receive this honor. Obviously, there is an intelligent design.
Whether this long-overdue recognition arises from my groundbreaking work in cynicism, ennui, and the alienating aspects of relationalism, from my work as a children's author, or from my leadership of one of the fastest growing religions on this blog, this recognition is, well, deserved. All that I can say is "bravo" to Time magazine and to God. You got it right for once.
The only official site of The First Unification Church of Kooking (fka the First Unification Church of Knowledge)(aka 1st Unichurck) and its house band, the Clown Squad (Affiliated with the community service organization The Underminers' Society of America). --THIS BLOG IS FOR RELIGIOUS, SCIENTIFIC AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY--(Not tested on animals)
3 comments:
Hi OneEar,
First of all, I’m glad your Dad is recovering from his second stroke of 2006. And YOU managed to survive your mugging with your brains intact. But I agree that you did have a disaster of a year.
Time Magazine’s “Man of the Year” award to you (and the billions of others on the planet) was indeed well deserved and long overdue. The editors came to their senses and bestowed upon you the homage you’ve obviously earned, mainly because you managed to retain your sanity throughout an exceedingly difficult year.
Do women qualify for this most prestigious award as well? I could use a good ego booster about now….
It couldn't have happened to a better sheep!
I put it on my CV. Have you?
Post a Comment