FU Very Much

The First Unichurck has become quite an institutionalized institution, and so have its members. (When I say members, generally speaking, I am not speaking about penises. I call those stiffies. However, when I speak about working stiffs, I am referring to employed zombies and, again, not penises. Employed zombies, or working stiffs, are a..., wait Now, where was I?).

Oh yes, members. FU members include some outstanding specimens with large, throbbing credentials: doctors and lawyers and such. What the FU has been doing thus far seems like a large, stinking, smoldering pile of waste of all of this accumulated education. You can probably see where I am going with this - an orgy of the dead.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, perhaps I should start over.

This is a case about the deepest, most cherished and most human of all human emotions; confusion! Some may say that confusion is not a human emotion or that it is not deep. They are deeply confused humans. Do you see how I trapped them?

And so, I propose that we set aside our penis references and our efforts to terminate the employment of zombies. Instead, we should strive to share our confusion and to spread that confusion near, far and deep, literally and figuratively. (When I say literally, I mean figuratively).

You are probably asking yourself, is he going to get back to the penises and the zombies and the orgy? No, no I am not. That will be saved for Sunday's FU service.

Instead, I will move on to the topic at hand. We are now commencing our FU Advice Service Society. FU ASS is a way to get around the traditional billing system, to "back door" if you will into a professional without having to pay for it. It seems like a very religious and charitable thing to do and so, I will invite Dr. Bok to begin with some general FU ASS advice.


***FU ASS is not a substitute for traditional personalized professional services. Think of it as a second or even third option. A person who disregards this warning does so at his/her/transgender's peril.