This is a reprint of a classic Rustism which originally aired at a previous time. The First Unichurck urges followers to pooh pooh the hooplah until March 11th when we officially celebrate July 4th.
Rusty Enterprises Corporation Limited Inc. (RUE) announced yesterday its initiative to move the 4th of July to March 11th. RUE CCC OneEar, who insists on writing in the third person, indicates that the company sees unlimited upside potential associated with the move.
"In July, it doesn't get dark until maybe 9:30, so the kids have to stay up way too late to watch the fireworks," said Mr. Ear. "Darkness falls much earlier in March. Plus, the kids are all bundled up so they are much less likely to get burned by the bonfire or the fireworks. Have you ever stepped on a sparkler rod with your bare foot? Wouldn't happen in March."
Ear also cited the reduced fire hazard resulting from snow and or rain. "The 4th of July simply is not a prudent time to hold the 4th of July," said Ear, "and I think we all know that."
5 comments:
You need my self-help guide, "How to Make Things Blow Up Using Everyday Household Items and Black Powder."
I note that there will be no moon on the Saturday night of the Rusty Sessions.
Is this a sign?
I think the moon will still be there, you just won't be able to see it.
Yes, it is tonight.
For those of us were paying attention last time, (obviously not you, OneEar) we already celebrated the 4th of July on March 11th of this year, as your calendar indicates. Please try to keep up with your own inanity.
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