Tuesday, September 30, 2008

RUE Seeks Measly $1,000,000,000.00 Bailout

Rusty Enterprises Co. Inc. Ltd., a very, very limited liability company (RUE), announced yesterday that it needs a mere $1Billion US to meet its current financial obligations. RUE Chief Chief Chief OneEar urged law-makers to put partisanship aside in order to stabilize RUE's shaky financial situation.

"This is shaping up to be MOAB, the Mother of All Bank Runs," noted Ear. "Unless the people want a severe melt-down, the Congress needs to get off its Duff and send me $1Billion."

Ear resisted providing details on how he would spend the $1Billion. "Treasury Czar Paulson is seeking $700Billion. Why don't you worry about him and leave us alone?" queried Ear. "All we need is 1 little billion dollars."

Ear left open the possibility that he may be back in the future asking Congress for additional funds. "This crisis has traveled from Wall Street to Main Street. I just want to make sure that it travels down My Street."


Litzi said...

Hi OneEar,
If by chance Rusty Enterprises Co. Inc. Ltd. receives $1 billion from The Masters of the Universe to stabilize it, I hope the principle of trickle-down economics will dribble some of those funds down my Main Street. It’s tough out here in the trenches…

How's your approval rating with the populace these days? It couldn't be any worse than Dubya's or Congress.

Litzi said...

All Along the Watchtower

Perhaps Bob Dylan had the right idea back in 1967.

OneEar said...

If you're going to quote Dylan, perhaps this line is more apropos:

"When you see your neighbor carryin' somethin',
Help him with his load,
And don't go mistaking paradise For that home across the road."

The Ballad of Judas Priest

Litzi said...

Ballad of Frankie Lee and Judas Priest

Do you think it would help if I sent it to Congress while they're working on another rescue package for the country?