Friday, May 04, 2007

What Would Rusty Sing?

The question we should all ask ourselves, the yardstick by which we should measure our behavior, the simple paradigm by which we should exist, is this: "What Would Rusty Sing?"

If Rusty were on American Idle, would he perform "Down by the River?" No. He might sing "Sunshine Day" or "The Preamble to the US Constitution - Grammar Rock," but he most certainly would not sing "Lola" or any other transvestite-related classic rock numbers.

And so it is with the War on Fear in Iraq. If the American military relaxed its standards enough to permit into service a sheep with a hearing issue who happens to be the creator of the universe, and if he agreed to serve, what would Rusty sing as he marched into, well, I guess they don't march much, but if he climbed aboard an unarmored HUMvee to drive through an IED-laden neighborhood? "I shot my baby?" No. "Girls will be boys?" No. He would sing something else. Something much more appropriate, like "Hello lamp-post, whatcha knowin?"

So, as we go through our daily trials and tribulations, let us emulate Rusty by singing the right song, and let us thank Rusty that we're not the ones over in that Rusty-forsaken shithole. "Life I love you, all is groovy."

6 comments:

Litzi said...

How about "When the Saints Go Marching In"...

Doc Bok said...

Litzi, I was getting worried about you.

Litzi said...

Hi Loud But Off Key,
Thanks. My Mother fell and broke her hip and arm 7 weeks ago, so I’ve been playing around at being a care giver, which is physically and mentally draining.

Here’s another suggestion for OneEar; “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown….the baddest man in the whole damned town, badder than a-old King Kong and meaner than a junkyard dog”. If he sung that, it might keep the congregation in line.

OneEar said...

Hello ML. Sorry about your mother's condition. Personally, I've never broken my "hip," but I've severely sprained my "cool" a few times. I do perform "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" on occassion. In my rendition, Leroy is a health-care system reform advocate rather than a gambler. He learns his lesson when he starts talking "single-payer" with an accountant from one of the major private insurance providers.

Litzi said...

Hi OneEar,
Severely sprained “cools” are easy to incur these days. Maybe you should take your Leroy Brown health care system reform advocate platform on the road. The paperwork and red tape are as overwhelming as the actual cost of medical attention and prescription drugs. It’s become quite clear why so many people are one “medical emergency” away from losing their home and their life savings. Leroy’s 21st century platform isn’t that far removed from gambling….

Sven said...

"What if Rusty was one of us?"