Friday, January 23, 2009

Missed Connections

People post "Missed Connections" notes to random other people on Craigslist. eg. Looking for girl I met in Chicago, August 2008 - m4w - 30 (Pasadena) or Beautiful TALL African-American Queen at Trader Joe's 2nite - m4w (Manchester & Sepulveda) In the unlikely event that the other person happens to find the post amongst the millions or perhaps billions of possible webpages, the hope is that the other will be inspired to contact an unknown idiot who just might be the man/woman/transgender of his/her/transgender's dreams.

I know this seems ridiculously futile, but it must be working or else why would so many people be doing it? So, I thought I'd begin my own little "Missed Connections" here at FU. I realize that a person is slightly less likely to find my post here than at Craigslist, but when you are talking about such miniscule odds anyway, what does it matter? This is the same rationale by which, instead of playing the lottery, I spend my money on bottles of beer in hopes that one will contain an accidentally captured mouse.

Tall guy in elevator at Courthouse - Yesterday at Courthouse, elevator going up, you farted. Then, elevator stopped, you exited and others entered and thought it was me. You should post a Missed Connections confession letting them know that it was you and not me who smelled so foul. Also, cut down on the boiled cabbage in your diet.


Doc Bok said...

I can't believe you farted in the elevator, and wanted the innocent incoming passengers to believe it was some faceless, tall, cabbage-eating "stranger" who got off on the floor just before. Did you shrug your shoulders repeatedly as they peered at you suspiciously and disgustedly? Aren't you just a bit tall and faceless? Coincidentally?

Your mother may have accepted that defense on your part, but I find the average elevator rider of 2009 to be a bit more savvy than that.

OneEar said...

I just received some very bad news.

Litzi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Doc Bok said...

See? Angeleans' only crime is wanting to hump hot black chicks! And that's no crime at all!

Madisonians, on the other hand, slam emotional doors on auditorily-impaired barnyard animals.