Friday, November 14, 2008

How About a Little Time To Lay It To Heart Before You Start Spreading Dung on Faces

Malachi 2:1-3 (King James Version);

1And now, O ye priests, this commandment is for you.

2If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the LORD of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart.

3Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.


Doc Bok said...

That God is ALWAYS jumping the gun. I wish he would make His mind; threaten or act? It's no fair to do both at the same time.

Doc Bok said...

And who wants to go to a church with a god who spreads dung on peoples' faces? Especially FEAST dung? That really, really undermines how tasty that feast food was.

Imagine the humiliation of finding a lima bean husk that you failed to chew well ending up smeared on your nose. Everyone would think that you're not so happy about that big feast, now, are you? Now that you have that poorly-chewed lima bean husk smeared on your nose. Or maybe an errant piece of corn.

"Roast Beast was a Feast He could stand in the Least!"

Doc Bok said...

And THEN, after the whole lima-bean-on-your-nose fiasco, with the bitter dregs of a feast gone rotten with irony in your mouth, the dung collector comes by, and seeing the dung on your face, believes that you are yourself dung! (the dung collector is easily confused by complicated visual stimuli; hence his vocational choice) And carts you off as if you were dung! Like the kind that he collects! Just because of a little lima-bean!

Doc Bok said...


That would be tough to get over. Every time you thought about it you'd be making fists and gritting your teeth, thinking about all the great one-liners you could've used on God at the last minute as you pulled your face away so He missed when he took a dung-loaded swipe at your face. How cool you would have seemed if that happened, and how everyone would have laughed and you would have been so popular. Instead, dung on your face.

Doc Bok said...

I love saying "Malachi".




Now with a slight Southern accent: Malachi.

"Malachi, you stop kissin' your sister and git your dumb ass over here and finish makin' them chitlins, so help me Jesus!"

(Dung Jesus, that is)

OneEar said...

I'm beginning to worry about you. May Rusty have mercy on your soul.