Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Vote For Wunder-Wiener and Lick Naked Women for Free while they bring you complimentary BEER and SCOTCH!!!


VOTE for Change!!
Government FatCats!!!
Rich keep getting richer and poor keep getting poorererer!!
(Despite pesky ongoing investment by rich people in their own education and future and poor peoples'...well...lack of investment in anything aside from the LOTTO!! Whoohoo!)
NO NEW TAXES!! READ and FONDLE my lips!!
TIPPECANOE AND TYLER, TOO!!!
ONEEAR DID SOMETHING BAD ONCE!! SLING SOME MUD!!!
KEEP COOL WITH COOLIDGE!
BUILDING A BRIDGE TO THE 21ST BAR ON THIS BLOCK!!!
OneEar, let's face it: despite your excessive cerebral electrical and clavier activity and complete choke-hold on the genre of stream of consciousness, you could use some lessons on campaign slogans. "Shame on You"? "flourishing rhetoric"? "massive rallies"? "popular support"?
The more I push Beer and Wieners, the more the malleable masses vote for me. The more I insist that I am not even running, the more the votes stack up. The poetic irony is that I actually don't want anything to do with any of this, and you were the one who put me on the ballot. So, logically, the best man for the job is the one man who wants this even less than me--Beery Wiener. If he even read this, he might suspend his apathy just long enough to protest. But that's truly a long-shot. Are you out there, Beery Wiener? You will be receiving your summons soon....
Learn from this, my seasoned veteran. Take a few minutes and give Karl Rove a call. Let him know what's been going on.

8 comments:

litzi said...

Hi Doc Bok,
I’m ALMOST at a loss for words. After reading your eloquent speech relinquishing your candidacy for leadership of The First Unichurck and offering your support to Wunder-Wiener, I’m underwhelmed.

Maybe part of Beer Wiener’s appeal is that the faster he runs away, the more he’s chased. An analogy would be the person who wants nothing whatsoever to do with you until he/she nabs you.

“I Like Ike” (not Turner).

Twilight Zone

Doc Bok said...

Litzi, you must understand that when I say "read my lips", it is in the Braille sense that I mean, no pun intended

Doc Bok said...

Your man Turner croaked recently, by the by

litzi said...

Hi Doc Bok,
Do you think “read and fondle my lips” was what Anne Sullivan had in mind when she was teaching Helen Keller to read Braille? Hmmm.

I got the drift of where you were going from the picture you posted. This is evolving into a “dirty” campaign!

“River Deep-Mountain High” he’s no guy of mine. Too much of a user and abuser…

Here’s a campaign slogan for you: 1920 Warren G. Harding “Cox and Cocktails”. Yes!

OneEar said...

DBok, you just wrote "Vote for change." I wrote "Vote for change" several days ago. Now you are a full-fledged plagiarist.

litzi said...

Warren G. Harding’s opponent James Cox was opposed to Prohibition; thus the campaign slogan “Cox and Cocktails”.

Doc Bok said...

Better than a half-fledged one. Plus, I was mocking you. Sorry I left out the quotations. Plus plus, I think we can all agree that you did something bad once and should have mud launched at you. As you lope away in drunken determination. Plus plus plus, you are a part of my campaign, you TOLD me to copycat you, you think I'm great, you work for me (what else did he say?) and we're best buddies, so it's as if I said it originally, right? This is the kind of silliness I would expect from a Clinton.

OneEar said...

There may be a problem with this voting code we purchased from Diebold. I tried to vote for Patrick Buchanan and it registered as a vote for DBok?!?

Litzi, your cox and cocktails platform reminds me of a bachelor party I once attended.