Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Vote For Wunder-Wiener and Lick Naked Women for Free while they bring you complimentary BEER and SCOTCH!!!
VOTE for Change!!
Rich keep getting richer and poor keep getting poorererer!!
(Despite pesky ongoing investment by rich people in their own education and future and poor peoples'...well...lack of investment in anything aside from the LOTTO!! Whoohoo!)
NO NEW TAXES!! READ and FONDLE my lips!!
TIPPECANOE AND TYLER, TOO!!!
ONEEAR DID SOMETHING BAD ONCE!! SLING SOME MUD!!!
KEEP COOL WITH COOLIDGE!
BUILDING A BRIDGE TO THE 21ST BAR ON THIS BLOCK!!!
OneEar, let's face it: despite your excessive cerebral electrical and clavier activity and complete choke-hold on the genre of stream of consciousness, you could use some lessons on campaign slogans. "Shame on You"? "flourishing rhetoric"? "massive rallies"? "popular support"?
The more I push Beer and Wieners, the more the malleable masses vote for me. The more I insist that I am not even running, the more the votes stack up. The poetic irony is that I actually don't want anything to do with any of this, and you were the one who put me on the ballot. So, logically, the best man for the job is the one man who wants this even less than me--Beery Wiener. If he even read this, he might suspend his apathy just long enough to protest. But that's truly a long-shot. Are you out there, Beery Wiener? You will be receiving your summons soon....
Learn from this, my seasoned veteran. Take a few minutes and give Karl Rove a call. Let him know what's been going on.