Monday, October 15, 2007

I Me Mine


Now I get it.

The blog community wants personal, beautifully-crafted intimate stories.

Ok.

I am an incredibly attractive female Asian supermodel (bear with me). Yesterday, my puppy Gisele, who was a shelter rescue, died after a long struggle with sickle-cell anemia. With her last dying breath, she barked out a message in Samuel Morse code asking me to stop domestic violence. I nodded as though I would, but, in reality, I'm not going to do Bo Diddley. What the hell can the Giesele do about it, she is dead.

DISCLAIMER: Much of the preceding is not technically "true" (except for the part about Bo Diddley). I also speak out fervently against all forms of "-ism" including racism, sexism, and drunkism. And, I am in favor of freedom of speech, free music downloads, and sitting. Oh yeah, and I support the troops.

4 comments:

Doc Bok said...

You have been bourne with. Why "asian" supermodel? I will admit that you do look a little like a blue-eyed, young-ish Asian supermodel with few teeth in that picture, BUT you and the other clowns have insisted for years that a woman cannot be both Asian AND attractive, no? I, for my part, have been forced to sample as many as possible to gather data to prove you wrong, as I have always felt this sentiment unkind and inaccurate. The study continues, thanks to your strict rules of empiric evidence. Thanks a lot.

And why "pay your taxes"? I liked the marsh-mellow thought train better, but I am honored you think about me in my absence.

On an unrelated topic, but more interesting, here is something evil about the corporation that hosts this blog:

check out this interview

OneEar said...

LBok, I never said Asians weren't attractive. That would be a pretty silly move, numerically speaking.

What I said was that YOU are not attractive. You don't change that by contaminating the Asian garden with your polluted seed.

Doc Bok said...

Look, what's one man's "pollution" is another man's "trash" or "filth". Who are we to judge, really?

Besides that, I am in the Pacific Time Zone, and it is still early. One would think that you might be "working" on a Monday morning, being that you are a rich, entrepreneurial, business-owning esquire and all.

Litzi said...

Hi OneEar,
Absolutely adorable picture! ”All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth”….