Why I Don't Answer Your Calls

1. If I wanted to talk to you, I would have called YOU.
2. I don't have caller ID because then I would be tempted to stop what I am doing to check on who is calling. If I did, and if I saw it was you, I wouldn't answer anyway.
3. You want me to give you my money. If I wanted to give you my money, I would have sent it already.
4. You want me to vote for you. I think you are an idiot, and I don't want to vote for you regardless. Are we really going to resolve this difference of opinion through a telephone conference?
5. Your machine keeps calling me. I let it talk to my machine. Maybe they'll get together and have little machines of their own. Just leave me out of it. If you have something worth saying, leave a message.
6. I spend all day talking on the phone. Why should I waste my evenings and weekends talking to you.
7. I generally get paid to talk to people. If you send me $200, then you can call me and I will talk to you.
8. If you want to argue with me, that costs double. Send me $400 and then call me and I'll explain why. Hint: It is because you are an idiot. Also, I fear that my life force is being sucked out whenever I converse with you.
9. I am not interested in limited time offers. I like my time good and eternal.

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