L.A., Smell-A.

This is the view from my balcony in the City of Angels
Jealous of our gas prices?
I am a pedestrian (and yes, a renter, Commandant Bunderkraut) so, in the words of Nelson Mundt, ha ha.

Tin or Aluminum

On the forthcoming Friday the 13th, Ms. Ear and I will be celebrating our 10th year of marital bliss.

I'm in need of a few good ideas for a gift, activity or something else which would make it clear to a person's friends that the person's husband is not the jack-ass he appears to be but is rather really very romantic and perhaps worth trying to have an affair with. Ms. Ear's suggestion for a theme, "Aren't you dead yet?" doesn't carry the right pizzazz for a milestone such as a decade of only having sex with one person.

Does anybody have any good 10th wedding anniversary suggestions? I think Ms. Ear has stopped reading this blog, but, just in case, use code-names.

Is the name 'Mount Horeb' a coincidence?

Verona? Perhaps. Mount Horeb? I think not. Yaweh? OneEar? Moses? Fifteeen, I mean ten, Ten Commandments? No. Way.


Now, clowns are certainly capable of destroying the real thing just to make a point and then quickly crafting a counterfeit set, but they are not as likely to slaughter the idol worshipers, because the Churck is rather dependent upon them.

And just to separate fact from fiction, this-ee here bush burned right up like a bottle-rocket in the hand of a drunkard. But it did, in fact, occur in the field where Jethro's flock grazed. Jethro Tull, that is. Who not only grazed his flock in the fields in which the burning bush appeared (on Mt. Horeb), but also, COINCIDENTALLY invented the horse-drawn plough which revolutionized British agriculture some several thousand-odd years later. AND hired Ian Anderson to hop on one foot and play the flute.

To quote the famous aircraft LED ZEPPELIN, "The more things change, the more they stay the same."

Didn't we do all of this already before? I have film footage on the Mount that suggests we have, complete with Bigfoot-Alceste lumbering through the brambles on his upward journey to the summit, along with Cocoa, clinging to flimsy roots, fighting gravity and balancing a naturally-fermented adult beverage, in search of Bunderkraut's "glasses".

Dream Weaver

I have another one of my patented "Great Ideas" (TM). I will file an application with the US Copyright Office to copyright the pattern of the brainwaves generated by REM sleep. Then, anyone who dreams will be infringing upon my copyright and will owe me royalties and attorney fees.


It is my understanding that all animals superior in the chain of command to the duck-billed platypus require REM sleep, so this simple copyright filing should make me the supreme ruler of all mammals. (I can't recall whether the platypus will or will not be under my dominion, so that might present an opportunity for someone out there). If it turns out that there actually is a God, all available evidence indicates that he/she/transgender would require REM sleep and will therefore be under my control as well.


Finally I am getting somewhere.

Run, Don't Walk, to the theaters to see 'Speed Racer'

For those of us who enjoyed the show as a child, this movie is f*&^%ng awesome. It's like the original animation on steroids, crack and acid. All at the same time. But don't believe me.

With a character cast such as Trixie, Spritle and Chim-Chim, portrayed by veteran performers Susan Sarandon and John Goodman, this is a home run by the Wachowski brothers (The Matrix). The only performer that you may take some exception to is Korean pop-star Rain. That's ok.

There are tender moments, too, for the ladies. Inspector Detector's discussion of the loss of Rex Racer was heart-rending. And speaking of Rex Racer's disappearance, there is intrigue and betrayal, as well (RAIN!!!). Finally, learning from the massive success of the original TV series, the season-ending multi-part long-distance road rally is lifted directly into this movie--some of you loyal fans will remember the frustration you felt as children having to wait first for part 2, then part 3 and then part 4, which was no doubt maddening and has increased your therapy bills--but the movie does not end there. I won't even discuss the MACH 6....

Let the Games Begin!

Wish us luck on this Eve of Rustification. God knows what will happen this year; number 16.