Monday, May 26, 2008

Is the name 'Mount Horeb' a coincidence?

Verona? Perhaps. Mount Horeb? I think not. Yaweh? OneEar? Moses? Fifteeen, I mean ten, Ten Commandments? No. Way.


Now, clowns are certainly capable of destroying the real thing just to make a point and then quickly crafting a counterfeit set, but they are not as likely to slaughter the idol worshipers, because the Churck is rather dependent upon them.

And just to separate fact from fiction, this-ee here bush burned right up like a bottle-rocket in the hand of a drunkard. But it did, in fact, occur in the field where Jethro's flock grazed. Jethro Tull, that is. Who not only grazed his flock in the fields in which the burning bush appeared (on Mt. Horeb), but also, COINCIDENTALLY invented the horse-drawn plough which revolutionized British agriculture some several thousand-odd years later. AND hired Ian Anderson to hop on one foot and play the flute.

To quote the famous aircraft LED ZEPPELIN, "The more things change, the more they stay the same."

Didn't we do all of this already before? I have film footage on the Mount that suggests we have, complete with Bigfoot-Alceste lumbering through the brambles on his upward journey to the summit, along with Cocoa, clinging to flimsy roots, fighting gravity and balancing a naturally-fermented adult beverage, in search of Bunderkraut's "glasses".

10 comments:

Doc Bok said...

I didn't even MENTION the fact that the bush is, in fact, a out-seasoned, left-over millenniums-old Christianized symbol of the pagan ritual marking the winter solstice. Did we cover that in the equinox edition? REEEEEEALLLY???

litzi said...

Hi Doc Bok,
Is OneEar a pyrotechnician as well as a legal beagle? He seems somewhat obsessed with incinerating things: bureaus (with the hardware still attached), holiday trees, etc.

“Idol worshipers”? Are you referring to the stereotypical “Sunday Christian” who goes through the motions on the Sabbath, only to exit the Churck to commit mayhem, or do some of The Flock worship imposters (a.k.a. false idoltry)?

What did the sheep think of Jethro Tull scorching their pasture?

Doc Bok said...

No, I am referring to the sin of idolatry, originally invented by Moses's punk brother, Aaron, who pissed him off so much that he smashed God's one good set of china, and had to go back up the hill for a second round. Fortunately, Levi's were popular at the time, and 3000 people were slaughtered just to make sure that the Golden OneEared Sheep Aaron made to start a new Churck didn't get spit back up from the water to be formed anew.

litzi said...

Hi Doc Bok,
LMAO! It appears you’ve edited The Bible into a Three Stooges movie. Is this the Holy Scripture of The First Unichurck?

Idolatry is a sin? Hallelujah!

OneEar said...

And they said "You can't burn a dried up Christmas tree so close to the LP gas regulator or the house."

I guess I showed them.

litzi said...

Hi OneEar,
Have you ever considered that maybe you should’ve gone in pyrotechnics for a career? BA-BOOOOOM!!

Doc Bok said...

OneEar, Litzi brings up a very good point: I can happily be contracted to write "THE" document for the Churck, if you think it is so indicated as to be largely profitable to me, and perhaps other Churcksters.

If there are any parables about peyote-induced parallels made between 7-11 Slurpees and time-travel, you can contribute to those sections. 10:17.

litzi said...

“By the seventh day God completed His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.”

Doc Bok~~~
Perhaps you could follow God’s example and get some rest…

Doc Bok said...

Litzi, that passage is very confusing. Who did the work again?

OneEar said...

Apparently He had it done.