Vote For Wunder-Wiener and Lick Naked Women for Free while they bring you complimentary BEER and SCOTCH!!!

VOTE for Change!!

Government FatCats!!!

Rich keep getting richer and poor keep getting poorererer!!

(Despite pesky ongoing investment by rich people in their own education and future and poor peoples'...well...lack of investment in anything aside from the LOTTO!! Whoohoo!)

NO NEW TAXES!! READ and FONDLE my lips!!

TIPPECANOE AND TYLER, TOO!!!

ONEEAR DID SOMETHING BAD ONCE!! SLING SOME MUD!!!

KEEP COOL WITH COOLIDGE!

BUILDING A BRIDGE TO THE 21ST BAR ON THIS BLOCK!!!

OneEar, let's face it: despite your excessive cerebral electrical and clavier activity and complete choke-hold on the genre of stream of consciousness, you could use some lessons on campaign slogans. "Shame on You"? "flourishing rhetoric"? "massive rallies"? "popular support"?

The more I push Beer and Wieners, the more the malleable masses vote for me. The more I insist that I am not even running, the more the votes stack up. The poetic irony is that I actually don't want anything to do with any of this, and you were the one who put me on the ballot. So, logically, the best man for the job is the one man who wants this even less than me--Beery Wiener. If he even read this, he might suspend his apathy just long enough to protest. But that's truly a long-shot. Are you out there, Beery Wiener? You will be receiving your summons soon....

Learn from this, my seasoned veteran. Take a few minutes and give Karl Rove a call. Let him know what's been going on.

The Election May Come Down to this

See what I mean?

I don't know which of these is eerier.

Who will rise against this momentum?

Doc Bok said...
What about beer and weiners? He's no Ron Paul. That's it; he's no Ron Paul.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
OneEar said...
Bundeskraut has no experience. Vote for change!

litzi said...
Hi Doc Bok,

I thought Cocoa-No-GoGo was designated to fill OneEar’s shoes when he steps down from his porcelain throne. There are others that WANT the position? Are you a contender?
Friday, February 22, 2008

Doc Bok said...
The preliminary tallies are not hopeful for me, Litzi, nor do I really feel able to take that un-coveted position within the Churck. I can't really drink at work, so I probably don't qualify. I am also discouraged from treating part-time employees as only semi-human. The poor outlook for me as a viable contender has only been reinforced by my own vote for someone else.

As far as Cocoa is concerned, I think his campaign has really been marred by a lot of hype, so were he to take over, the expectations for his performance would be excessive--even by his definitions. He would be highly likely to let us all down.

Again.

We've seen this over and over again in the last couple of decades when he has been in charge of various Rusty's. They have been some of the worst ever.

He also appears to be neck-in-neck at the moment with Bunderkraut. What can we say about Bunderkraut as a potential Churck Chancellor? Not much. Under "apathy" in the dictionary, you might see a picture of Bunderkraut, if only he cared enough to show up to the photo shoot. He does not.

I think the strategists would agree that one of the biggest problems with a potential Bunderkrautian Churck would be his complete failure to even read this Blog. Communication is key to any job, but old Bunder thinks if you just ignore that itchy crotch rash, it will eventually go away and not get on your Blackberry. Do we want someone with an itchy crotch ignoring our absolutely fabulous witticisms? Think about it.
Friday, February 22, 2008

litzi said...
Hi Doc Bok,

Cocoa impresses me as being rather shy and reclusive. This could be his blog persona (what little I’ve seen of it), when in reality he’s a painted-faced, pterydactyl-squawking Clown. The Churck needs a dynamic, “in your face” dictator/Chancellor, like OneEar has proven to be over the years. Would Cocoa be capable of riding herd on his minions with an iron fist and constantly reminding them of their lowly status?

If Bunderkraut takes over with a military coup, I hope he considers shortening his name. Does Bunderkraut have cooties as well? Perhaps you better reconsider running for Chancellor; at least the Churck will be will be free from sepsis, putrefaction and decay. You could run on the Antiseptic Platform. Cleanliness is next to Rustyness.
Friday, February 22, 2008

Dok Bok:

Litzi, as far as Cocoa's persona v. blog persona, I can tell you that he is from the same state as Senator Obama, who also seems a freightrain of unstoppable hype. He looks very similar to the included picture of Senator Obama when exiting the waters of Lake Michigan as tiny lollipop grasping Asian teen girls look on in disbelief. Though, in fairness, that picture also does a decent job representing OneEar in his standard loping gait when no water is present. I can also tell you that he (Cocoa) has attacked me physically more than once. There was ice, painful ice, blood and snow involved on at least one occasion. I can also assure you that he is prone to crankiness on occassion which results in surly remarks and behaviour at times. I think he can reign in his minions, but Beer and Wieners may just steal the day. The uncertainty is absolutely titillating. Really.

Concession Stand

The First Unichurck now faces unparalleled challenges and unparalleled parallels. During this difficult time occasioned by the current no-confidence vote, leaders must be leaders and followers must be followers. It is a syllogism. Look it up.

And so, in order to further the best interests of this institution, this country, this world, this solar system, and our pin-prick piece of this universe, I must humby step aside and allow the p^ssy of this wholly Churck to be f^cked by another leader.

I hereby wholeheartedly endorse cocoa_no_gogo as the next Chancellor of the First Unichurk, and I encourage all of my followers (Litzi) to support his campaign. "The souse shall rise again!"

Digital Blow-back?

So, OneEar, not to deviate from your food train of thought, but what do you and Bunderkraut think of this?

Revealing source code is sort of anti-capitalistic, don't you think? Suddenly, anyone can copy your product, if you happen to make this sort of a product. Yet, if O.J. can be found innocent because of a chain-of-custody argument, I suppose no rock must be left unturned.

Traveling At the Speed of Smell

Skunk - you reek
Skunk - you reek
Skunk - you reek
Skunk

Puke - you reek
Puke - you reek
Puke - you reek
Puke

But sometimes, stinky things smell good.
A passing whiff, pull away,
A creeping desire, now irresistable,
Smell it again. Ah!
Sometimes, stinky things smell good.

Cheese - you're cheesy

Fish - you're fishy

Fart - you're gassy

Where was I?

Stinky finger under a band-aid

Arm-pit stain in an old wool suit.

Rotten wood from a mossy stump,

A wet dog in the summertime,