Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Hello Lamp-post

"Where has Coco gone?" LBok asks. Good question. Maybe he is busy birthing a child.

Or maybe, just maybe the Official Site of the First Unification Church of Knowledge has failed of late to deliver enough quality timely news. Well, hint taken. Here is the very latest in knowledge.

1) A California man has sued the maker of a vitamin drink for giving him an unstoppable erection. In an unrelated story, I filed suit agains the same vitamin drink maker, but for the opposite reason.

2) A California woman who lived with 120 rats and who was hospitalized for treatment of the animal bites all over her 81 year old arms said she started with two rats but then it "got out of hand." This recalls what happened with Michael Jackson after the movie "Ben."

3) A Washington DC Judge is suing a dry cleaner for $54M because they lost his pants. Between this guy and Marion Barry, I'm getting the impression that running for office in DC might be right up my alley.

4) Principal of Catholic school in Ohio gets probation in foot-kissing case. Holloway told authorities he paid each student $15 and kissed their bare feet 50 times each in the school's library and gym to pay off the bet on a student-teacher volleyball game.
"It's going to be a long road to get back to a normal life for myself," he said.

5) Does anyone have any idea of what happened to Paris Hilton? I haven't heard anything about her in quite some time, and I'm getting worried.


canary said...

Your blog is very interesting!
Please, send me the photo of your computer desk.
I'll publish on my blog!.


Sven said...

I don't know about Paris but I did read about the drunk couple in St. Cloud, MN. After being picked up on booze-and-pill-fueled reckless driving and hit & run charges, hubby calls the wife to pick him up at the police station. When she arrives, police determine that she too is drunk so they ticket her as well.

OneEar said...

Canary, your proposition is very propositionary.

Sven, a similar thing happened in Madison Wisconsin when a guy charged with DUI phoned his drunk attorney

Sven said...

Not surprising since Madison tops the Google trends list of places with people searching the internet for beer. Cheese too.

Someone should create a repository for all of these look-at-the-stupid-thing-I-did-while-I-was-drunk stories. Then we could add this one to the list as well.

Loud but off key said...

Paris, you'll be pleased to know, is out of the joint, having served exactly three days of her sentence. She's at my apartment right now, in my personal "custody".

Loud but off key said...

So, is Cocoa actually involved somehow in the "birthing process"?

OneEar said...

If I only had a dollar for every time I've gotten stuck hanging upside down in a sewer....

Upon reflection, I have decided to go ahead and have sex with Paris Hilton. Can one of you let me know when we are finished?