Mission 3 - The Movie "Newtons Third Law"

http://asterix.ednet.lsu.edu/~lou2/Connie/JEDISci/JediMission3FRAME.html

Reviews:

Newton’s Third Law – Bravo! by Grahamalama

Captain Allen is some sort of long-haired Hawaiian-shirted astro-physics expert for some reason. After the smooth jazz intro is interrupted by a climatic space shuttle launch, the Captain seizes upon the cinematic energy and teases, rhetorically, “Wasn’t that incredible?” Captain Allen takes the audience to exciting new cinematic places posing the provocative (yet unanswered) question, “How does the car go down the road?”

Much like the political thriller genre, the Newtonian Law of Motion film is difficult to get just right. It is a delicate balancing act between weepy sentimentalism and slap-stick comedy. Let’s just say that in this film, the Captain is a major – a major success that is! He perfectly launches and lands the role of a long-haired Hawaiian-shirted astro-physics expert for some reason. His performance gives the film an air of legitimacy, realism and genuine spaciness otherwise unattainable.

For those people who are not fans of Sir Isaac Newton, or his laws of motion, there is still something cosmic to consider. The subtle subtext of the film, “why should we obey the laws of this seventeenth century has-been and what is he going to do about it if we don’t,” provides more than ample raison d'être for accepting the mission. Strap yourself on, and get ready for the ride of a lifetime. This time, Houston, we definitely do not have a problem!

BRAVO? A Contrary View by Cocoa No Gogo

Newton’s Third Law – The Movie at first glance is innocent enough but repeated viewings reveal more sinister undertones. The movie seduces us with a jazz intro and then before we know it, we are looking down upon a giant penis-shaped rocket that is preparing to be thrust at or in us. Accompanying this footage we hear a seductive voice: "feel it" "hurt me". A countdown ensues that clearly mimics the sounds of orgasm – pay close attention to the way the narrator gets excited at "5,4,3".

Following the explosion, we are greeted by our seducer who "innocently" asks “Wasn’t that [sex] incredible?”The seducer or main character Captain Al, (previous reviews erroneously labeled him "Captain Allen") spends the remainder of the film making cleverly disguised sexual innuendos. "…we are going to explore [explore, play, experiment sexually] how that shuttle [my penis] can go from earth [he points to his penis at this point] all the way [all the way in] to space [the space between your legs]."And in the car scene, notice Captain Al's facial change at the word "down" in "…down the road." Is he playfully suggesting that he wants someone to go down on him in his car after school?And what about Captain Al's shirt (again mislabeled as Hawaiian in previous reviews – did they even watch the film?)? There are lots of fish. A school of fish. I am trolling in a school. I want to "catch" a student.

Finally there is the whole matter of the topic the film is purportedly trying to teach – Newton's Third Law. There is mounting evidence that Newton was a homosexual http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1565019822/103-2231504-2986250?v=glance and his third law "whenever one body exerts a force on another body, the second body exerts an oppositely directed force of equal magnitude on the first body" speaks for itself. Captain Al has raised eyebrows in the past with his encouragement of student's depictions of pig-people. It seems now he has decided to cast his net wider and deeper.

Unlike other commentators, I would most certainly say that "we have a problem!" and his name is Captain Al!