Monday, March 03, 2014

Abu Gogo



Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 11:35:24 -0400 (EDT)
From: Jim
Subject: Dodo's song
Did anyone happen to catch Sunday’s 60 Minutes segment about the hobbit people? As you will recall, last year, a team of Australian archaeologists working on the Indonesian island of Flores uncovered the skeletons of a species of 3 foot tall humanoids who had bow legs, flat feet, nice teeth, and a little tiny brain. The skeletons were uncovered alongside the remains of gigantic rats and miniature elephants. Researchers deduce that the little people used stone tools, fire and cooperative hunting techniques. From the cooperative hunting techniques, it has been inferred that the little people used a rudimentary form of language known as “Loud Off-Key Singing.” The resemblance is starting to get spooky.
On a different matter, I am arranging for a pay-per-view match between that bride-to-be from Georgia who kidnapped herself to New Mexico and the silly UW Madison student who hid in the swamp for a week while pretending to be missing. It will be a timed game of hide and seek with teammates Tonya Harding and the recently rediscovered Jane Fonda, and it will take place in the Atchafalayaya Swamp near that Fais-do-do bar. If you are interested in investing in this project, please let me know.

Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 11:42:55 -0400 (EDT)
From: Jim
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
I forgot to mention my original point - Flores islanders indicate that the little people have been around recently, and they call them "Abu Gogo" which translates into "Erik Goatboy." Erik Goatboys are very hairy and short, only about 3-feet high. One islander indicates "the women have very long breasts, which they used to throw over their shoulders. They also had very wide mouths." "If we think about them, they are not nice people at all. Abu Gogo means 'very greedy.' They used to eat everything." During holiday ritual celebrations, the "Abu Gogo" or "Erik Goatboy" comes out of the bushes and scares the children.

Which brings me to my question - should I turn him in?


Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 11:45:28 -0400
From: Mark
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Jim - I can't believe that you have already been drining today....you have quotes around quotes while quoting something.....
Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 11:52:13 -0400 (EDT)
From: Jim
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Mar , where is your "k?"

Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 09:37:25 -0700 (PDT)
From: Mike
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
I think that we are misssing an opportunity for
merchandising. I remember in college I used to get mad and drink
alot. I used to think that we just needed an idea like
the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that we could turn
into some sort of lucrative business. Salmon Boy and
the Monkey Platoon never quite caught on but these
"Abu Gogo" might just be the answer. Let's not "out" Erik without the proper fanfare.
Everyone create one "Abu Gogo" character and we will
work out the story. We can even work in elements of Salmon Boy and the
Monkey Platoon and the feared but respected giant
hairy creature "Mookie(TM)".

They also need a theme song. If we time it right, we may even be able to take
advantage of the "Intelligent Design"/evolution debate
that's playing out in Kansas and make our characters
part of the Kansas Science Curriculum.
Who's with me?

Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 12:53:49 -0400 (EDT)
From: Jim
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Done, Mike. My character is a pedophilic outlaw roller-derby player. His costume consists of licorice bikini, top hat, and feather boa, and his trademark saying is, "Here kiddy, kiddy, kiddy." I'm thinking his name will be Epul or perhaps Epuldut or maybe ErikPaulGoatboy.
I'll work on the theme song.

Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 11:51:25 -0700 (PDT)
From: Allen
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
My proposed action figure is an overweight, eyeglass wearing school teacher with a hawaiian shirt. His secret weapon is a shit smudge. Also, he is constantly drung, rude and slightly smelly. The action figure comes with an "action kit". The kit contains two spare livers, a tube of preparation H, adult wipes and a bong.

Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 14:59:09 -0400 (EDT)
From: Jim
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
We're off to a good start:

Abu Gogo
Baboomba Ma Mojo
Da Hooha Da Dodo
Abu Gogo

Hey, you little, hairy, zany hominids!
I refuse to put my feet in any shoes but yours!!
I’d rather rather bleed from every orifice with Ebola or Marburg than to brush my teeth with anything but an Abu Gogo electric toothbrush,
And I love your cereal and your action figures!!

Abu Epul
Da liddle liddle peepul
Wit liddle liddle peepu
Abu Epul

Abu Smello
Drungy Teechu Tello
Da pupu da beegto
Abu Smello

Hey, you little, fuzzy, stupid prehumans!
I really dig your sheets and bathroom sets!!!
I can’t bear the thought of life without a complete set of Abu Gogo trading cards!!!
And I can’t wait to get the implants and throw them over my shoulders

Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 15:03:49 -0400
From: Mark
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
My proposed action figure will be a overly polite young man of strict
upbringing with a bad habit of leaving fun events early and nervously
cupping his balls though his pantspockets. His secret power will be an
ability to fart and blame it on others. His costume will be shorts,
black socks and white tennis shoes and a utility fanny pack with maps,
sparre change in differen currencies, lip balm, xray/sunglasses that
cover up regular glasses (like mike used to have), a club magzine and ky
for stress relief.

Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 15:09:28 -0400 (EDT)
From: Jim
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Abu Pupu
Paakit Pulpuul
Bybye PeeYu
Abu Pupu


Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 15:11:49 -0700 (PDT)
From: Mike
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Now that is what I am talking about. Let's keep it
rolling!!
I spent the afternoon working on some drawings to help
bring the characters to life. I have access to some
animation technology and that really helped. I am no
artist but I think that I have at least given us a
good start. See attached.




Date: Tue, 03 May 2005 15:20:45 -0700
From: Erik
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Look, Counselor, I thought you said 'abu googoo' means 'Erik Goatboy'. Then you said an islander said it means 'very greedy'. Well, which is it? Do you want that I freeze, or that I get down on the ground? 'Causin if'n I gets down on the ground, well, I'll likely be in motion.
I think your credibility is starting to waver.

do you think children would be more scared of someone their own size, or a big furry gin-soaked Wookie with not particularly fra fur? This story of yours is getting sketchier by the moment. The authorities will never buy it.

I'm sure the African American community will love the idea of a "Mookie (TM)".

Date: Tue, 03 May 2005 15:31:43 -0700
From: Erik
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
my middle name is not 'Paul'. It is "Patrick", Chewbacca "Neil" Wookie. Would you like my social security number, too?

Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 15:40:05 -0700 (PDT)
From: Mike
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
There is nothing offensive about Mookie(TM).
I have discovered a page dedicated to Mookie the Dog.
It turns out that Mookie leaks urine as a result of a
botched neutering.
www.golden-retriever.com/mookie-gric.htm
Needless to say I think our Mookie(TM) should be a
leaker as well. This story is really starting to write
itself.

Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 19:49:03 -0400
From: Mark
Subject: Re: Dodo's song
Erik, your character will be called "Polacck" who believes that ever girl in the bar is in love with him. His special powers is a grasp of thousand of inane factoids and the ability to have multiple orgasms.


Date: Wed, 4 May 2005 12:19:38 -0400 (EDT)
From: Jim
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
I am merely repeating the facts reported by 60 minutes. Abu Gogo translates literally into "very greedy but with a grapefruit sized brain." It is only when translating this into English for the Polish phrase "little man with insatiable appetite, small penis and smaller brain" that one arrives at the referenced translation.
The 60 Minutes piece also explicitly referenced scaring children. It did not explain exactly what the children feared, but I think we all know.

Date: Wed, 04 May 2005 09:25:16 -0700
From: Erik
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
which one am I? the short one with hair? (read: 'short, hairy people')


Date: Wed, 04 May 2005 09:25:25 -0700
From: Erik
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Oh, he's a leaker, alright. Oh, they'll be hot, alright. Chief.

Date: Wed, 04 May 2005 09:28:42 -0700
From: Erik
Subject: Re: Dodo's song
Mark,
Thanks for your generous character description. But, I noticed that Allen and you both came up with your own characters/powers, yet I have been assigned one, foregoing the fact that this all STARTED with my original character, the aforementioned 'Abu googoo', who is either 'greedy, eating everything' or 'Erik Paul Goatboy', depending upon whom you believe. Try to keep up, Panties, your making the group look bad.

Date: Wed, 4 May 2005 09:50:30 -0400 (EDT)
From: Jim
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Correction noted. I will use your proper name in my correspondence with the California Board of Medical Examiners regarding your recent misdiagnosis. It turns out I have been walking around for a week on a fractured tibia, and though my leg may heal, I'm not sure my trust in society or the medical profession ever will.

Date: Wed, 4 May 2005 12:55:34 -0400
From: Mark
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Erik - Jim is right about you being greedy - everybody else has only one character, but you of course have to have two. we don't like those apples at all mister

Date: Wed, 04 May 2005 10:19:16 -0700
From: Erik
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Look, the amount of misinformation flying around the clowns is disturbing: Jim didn't say I'm greedy, a bunch of Islanders who don't know me and haven't even met me think I'm greedy. Please try to extricate yourself from the clown-rumor mill.

Date: Wed, 04 May 2005 10:36:18 -0700
From: Erik
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Mike, More animations, please. You're off to a roaring start and we need to take advantage of this momentum. This may be the break we've been looking for.

Date: Wed, 4 May 2005 13:52:18 -0400
From: Colin
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
The animations have an interesting 3-Deffect that I have found is enhanced by large quantities of gin. Nice touch,Mike.

Date: Wed, 04 May 2005 11:28:22 -0700
From: Erik
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Jim, gin?

Date: Fri, 6 May 2005 13:40:38 -0400 (EDT)
From: Jim
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
But back to the point, given the 17,000 or so South Pacific islands with various inhabitants, it is awe-inspiring to ponder how many different derogatory phrases there must be for "Erik Goatboy."
Oh, this mysterious and wonderful world in which we're living.

Date: Fri, 06 May 2005 11:05:38 -0700
From: Erik
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
I hope you get a flat tire on your power scooter just at an inopportune moment.

Date: Tue, 10 May 2005 10:41:47 -0400 (EDT)
From: Jim
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Erik; Our group would be much stronger and more cohesive if we all worked together. You should not spend all of your time tearing down when you could be building up.
I am very proud of you and your accomplishments, and I'm sure you are a very fine doctor who commits relatively few acts (or omissions) of malpractice, and I'm sure that the degree of your greed is exaggerated by the South Pacific Islanders. See, isn't that nice?

Date: Thu, 12 May 2005 07:36:48 -0700
From: Erik
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Look, why is it that just because I am a little (no pun intended) "shorter" than average, and most people would agree that I am a different "species" and I may be a little "greedy" that you clowns are ganging up on me? You all act like there's something wrong with that. I mean, for God's sake, I'm sure Allen has found a Homo Florensias porn site and masturbated to it's images. Imagine, Allen, a 3 foot tall hairy woman with a flat head and big ears--who could ask for more?

Date: Thu, 12 May 2005 07:41:31 -0700 (PDT)
From: Allen
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Mmm Mmm. Flat heads are hot By the way, my boy is 1 today

Date: Thu, 12 May 2005 16:17:41 -0400 (EDT)
From: Jim
Subject: RE: Dodo's song
Al, you are a wonderful person, and you should not feel the least bid ashamed about masterbating to head images, regardless of the flatness.
Erik, do not worry about being so small. You still have a right to exist, just like normal people. Take pride in knowing that, perhaps, somewhere, someone is masterbating to an image of your flat head.
Colin, do not be so sad. I am sure you have other friends who are not quite so stupid or childish.
Hunter, happy 1st birthday. It is all downhill from there.

Date: Sat, 30 Apr 2005 07:34:06 -0700 From: Erik
Subject: Re: Travis teaches Exercise and Sport for Special Populations
30 years ago today Saigon fell. 30 years before that, on today's date, Adolf Hitler killed himself and Eva Braun.
what are you doing at work on a saturday, mark?

Date: Sat, 30 Apr 2005 10:42:54 -0400 From: Mark Subject: Re: Travis teaches Exercise and Sport for Special Populations
Blackberry on payground

Date: Sat, 30 Apr 2005 09:55:35 -0700 (PDT) From: Allen Subject: Re: Travis teaches Exercise and Sport for Special Populations
put your fucking blueberry down and play with your cyber son

Date: Sat, 30 Apr 2005 14:05:22 -0400 From: Mark Subject: RE: Travis teaches Exercise and Sport for Special Populations
When he falls I email him and tell him to quit crying and get up.

Date: Sat, 30 Apr 2005 09:56:57 -0700 (PDT) From: Allen Subject: Re: Travis teaches Exercise and Sport for Special Populations I have arranged for Jim to be taken to the Wisconsin State Hospital

Date: Sun, 01 May 2005 07:19:38 -0700 From: Erik Subject: Re: Travis teaches Exercise and Sport for Special Populations
I, on the other hand, mock him, his smelly wet fur that probably made him slip, and his inherent inability to get his big self through small doorways and cracks in walls. Allen, can you go back to your pseudonym 'Grunt'? That way your boy could called 'Hunter Grunt'. That's a great name; he could be a reporter with a name like that: "this is HUNTER GRUNT reporting to you LIVE from Hungary. Back to you, CANDY SAMPLES in Indiana"

1 comment:

cocoa_no_gogo said...

Quinn happened to be next to me when I was visiting this blog and noticed the drawings of the Abu Gogo. To say he was impressed would be an understatement. He is going to inquire about them in his letter to Santa.