The recent cold snap here in the Midwest is causing me to rethink my decision to place the poles of redemption outdoors. Several of the FU Dancers are now stuck in compromising positions, and their complaints are becoming quite shrill.
I had read, in several of the leading treatises on the subject, that first time strippers should avoid the pole. However, I didn't realize that there was any danger of the shall we say "moist tissues" becoming affixed to the frozen pole. My bad.
I recall a similar scene in the movie The Christmas Story. So, this got me to thinking. Perhaps we should leave them out there through the holiday season. It will be kind of a Munitions Day manger scene type thing.
The only official site of The First Unification Church of Kooking (fka the First Unification Church of Knowledge)(aka 1st Unichurck) and its house band, the Clown Squad (Affiliated with the community service organization The Underminers' Society of America). --THIS BLOG IS FOR RELIGIOUS, SCIENTIFIC AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY--(Not tested on animals)
Showing posts with label strippers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strippers. Show all posts
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
Pole Position
I was feeling a little sorry for myself over the holidays. Sorry to be profane, but I got to the point where I had to say, "Froach this mubil-harfing sterk!" I've been giving my froaching heart and soul to try to grow this mubil-sterking Churck. I've formed companies, I've formed governments, and yet, the FU is just not growing as fast as other religions.
Christianity adds 46 million per year, Islam adds 29 million per year, and here we are with a lousy 6 or so members. Even Jesus had 13 disciples. Come on people.
Ms. Litzi's proposal to screen XXX movies got me to thinking. (I assume she was being fascetious as it is obviously inappropriate to show XXX movies at a religious institution).
Announcing the FU Dancers and the pole of redemption.
I found a source where we can order the pole. Selling home poles for "the hottest health & fitness craze to sweep the nation in years," Lil'Mynx seems like just the kind of resource we need to bring this fantasy home.
I also located a blog By Strippers For Strippers which has a veritable plethora of gamps. Many of them sound like just the kind of people we need to ride our poles. We will have them perform to Solomon's Song. It will be a BYOB kind of deal with $12.00 Pepsis. You know the drill.
Christianity adds 46 million per year, Islam adds 29 million per year, and here we are with a lousy 6 or so members. Even Jesus had 13 disciples. Come on people.
Ms. Litzi's proposal to screen XXX movies got me to thinking. (I assume she was being fascetious as it is obviously inappropriate to show XXX movies at a religious institution).
Announcing the FU Dancers and the pole of redemption.
I found a source where we can order the pole. Selling home poles for "the hottest health & fitness craze to sweep the nation in years," Lil'Mynx seems like just the kind of resource we need to bring this fantasy home.I also located a blog By Strippers For Strippers which has a veritable plethora of gamps. Many of them sound like just the kind of people we need to ride our poles. We will have them perform to Solomon's Song. It will be a BYOB kind of deal with $12.00 Pepsis. You know the drill.
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