Friday, January 18, 2008

Mystery Solved

FU loyalists may recall an incident from August of 2006 when Alceste visited me in Madison, Wisconsin, and we ended up in the middle of a mystery. We spent the afternoon and night bar-hopping and then stayed at a hotel overnight. When we awoke in the morning, the hotel room had received an extreme make-over including relocation of the furniture, removal of the door mirror, and updating of the carpeting with a colorful pattern of diarrhea. The towels had all been removed, and both Alceste's and my feet had been slathered with feces. For details, please reference SOS a Mystery. Of course, this incident and a possibly related roadside incident involving Alceste later became the basis for the world renowned Funky Monkey Crap Rap.

However, until now, exactly what happened in the hotel room on that mysterious night has remained, well, a mystery. Who would break into a hotel room, trash the place, steal all of the towels, and then defecate on the floor and on the feet of the two guests? Mystery solved:
Defecation Man arrested.

8 comments:

Litzi said...

Hi OneEar,
Ronnie A. Ballard would’ve been 17 years old in August of 2006, so even if he was the “guilty party” who befouled your hotel room, he was a juvenile and probably wouldn’t be held responsible for his actions.

How come crapping everywhere but the toilet is only deemed a misdemeanor? Not only is it totally disgusting but it’s a health hazard. It’s reassuring to know there are kooks residing in other places as well as California.

Doc Bok said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Doc Bok said...

I was, too, concerned about the age of Ronnie A. Ballard, but Litzi beat me to the punch. Do you think there may be an older brother involved in the hotel incident? Possibly MY older brother?

Doc Bok said...

I MEANT bratwurstundsauerkraut's older brother?

Doc Bok said...

Secret bathtime for Bunderkraut, while we're at it (hidden camera left in bathroom after kids/wife in bed). His plastic fleet respects him, even if his crackberry doesn't.

Litzi said...

Hi Doc Bok,
LOL! Whose older brother is that relieving himself; yours or Bratwurstundsauerkraut’s? Nice photo. Does Bratwurstundsauerkraut have similar ideologies to the late My Führer? Sieg Heil!!

Doc Bok said...

well, he IS called "bratwurstundsauerkraut" (note the 'und' instead of 'and'--German haberdashery at its finest)

OneEar said...

Litzi: mankind has survived for millenia crapping everywhere but a toilet. Don't get caught up in these fads.

DBok: You have very interesting dialogues with yourself. Remember the Randy-o!