Have you always wanted to attend a world-class, award-winning kooking skool but you were too lazy and undisciplined to save enough money for tuition? Well, you are just the kind of student for whom we are looking.
The First Unification Church of Kooking has skolarships available which will allow you to save 10%, 20%, even 30% off of tuition. Because our tuition is astronomical, your savings will be up to 30% astronomical. And for those individuals who need even more financial aid, we have just reduced our period of indentured servitude upon graduation to only 10 years!
Why spend thousands of dollars on book-learning to become a doctor, lawyer, or miscellaneous when you could be broadening your mind and your waistband at the FU Kulinary Arts Senter. FUKAS students explore all of the finer kooking methods including boiling, grilling, and advanced boiling.
And the benefits to being a FUKAS alumn are obvious. To date, our award-winning career services office has not failed to place a single FUKAS graduate in a high level position as a chef!
Don't waste another minute pursuing your so-called "career-path." You can only get the FUKAS benefits from a FUKAS education.
Apply today!
The only official site of The First Unification Church of Kooking (fka the First Unification Church of Knowledge)(aka 1st Unichurck) and its house band, the Clown Squad (Affiliated with the community service organization The Underminers' Society of America). --THIS BLOG IS FOR RELIGIOUS, SCIENTIFIC AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY--(Not tested on animals)
7 comments:
Would they send us someplace special?
I'll just put you down for a "no."
Hi OneEar,
If I attend the FU Kulinary Arts Senter, will I be qualified to have an Emmy® award-winning daytime TV show like Rachael Ray? Does the Skool teach you how to be obnoxious like Nigella Lawson (who asserts that she will not leave her children ANY of the $$$$ she’s got)? I’d love to broaden my mind, waistband and arse by enrolling in FUKAS. You neglected to mention exactly how much this opportunity of a lifetime will cost, after the skolarships have been utilized. I may not be around long enough to serve 10 years of indentured servitude, so any reduction in the price for instruction would be appreciated.
I’m going to get my Bunsen burner fired up for kooking…
One-Ear:
In response to your comment on my blog: 'race' is any variation of anyone born into humankind. There is only one humankind: therefore only one race.
Thank you so much for your comment. I have linked you to my blog. If you like, perhaps you'd do the same for me.
Mischa KK Bagley
_________________________________
http//:theconfessionofthepantherwoman.blogspot.com
‘Sex, Cathedrals & Metamorphosis’
mischakk@gmail.com
Twilight Zone
Litzi, FUKAS provides all graduates with a Gummy award, which is similar to an Emmy, only stickier. Tuition is negotiable. Start sending money and I'll let you know when you have sent enough.
Mischa, thank you for clarifying your interpretation of genetics. However, I happen to personally know someone who is half goat, so I must dissent from your opinion about there only being one race. There are at least two.
OneEar:
Actually, there are at least three, as demonstrated by the Panther Woman. Silly me!
Mischa.
_____________________
http://theconfessionofthepantherwoman.blogspot.com
‘Sex, Cathedrals & Metamorphosis’
mischakk@gmail.com
Post a Comment