What is the FU missing that all of the really trendy religions have? That's right, boycotts. Whether it is the Reverend Al Sharpton, the Reverend Jerry Falwell or those people that are always bitching about what is on TV, it seems that all truly pious people have something which they insist upon not-buying. And, they do it in a very loud manner.
Announcing, the First Unichurck's first holy boycott in the furtherance of justice, goodness, and publicity! For as long as need be for us to get on the national news, FU followers shall boycott all forms of citrus. No more limes in your Cuba Libre, no more lemons with your Cuervo, and no more orange in your weiss-beir. Rickets be damned. (Coco, you are going to have to find a new way to mask your drinking at work. Have you considered Peppermint Schnapps?)
Hey hey
Ho Ho
Put us on the nightly news (after the macabre titillation over the VaTech tragedy expires).
The only official site of The First Unification Church of Kooking (fka the First Unification Church of Knowledge)(aka 1st Unichurck) and its house band, the Clown Squad (Affiliated with the community service organization The Underminers' Society of America). --THIS BLOG IS FOR RELIGIOUS, SCIENTIFIC AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY--(Not tested on animals)
3 comments:
Citrus references aside, it interests me that the VaTech incident is yet another suicidal gesture that accomplished it's mission. Crazy young girls get their dramatic woe-is-me kicks from overdosing on aspirin, but thanks to our media, crazy young boys have a perfectly viable and indeed powerful venue through which to work to get their woe-is-me kicks. This is not a desire to kill others nearly as much as a desire to grab attention by doing something that forces people to pay attention, male-style. The crazy girl's family is then forced to pay more attention to her or whatever, so she wins in her powerplay. The crazy boy gets his powerplay, but doesn't usually exist in the end to get off on it. Someone should tell these guys that they really won't get what they're looking for, no matter how cool they think it makes them. Dead people can't enjoy coolness. whoops.
As usual, LBok, your analytic skills are remarkable. Who else could have so quickly identified the flaw in the logic of a deranged madman?
It interests me that most people now know more about this sick idiot than about Paul Wolfowitz.
If he really wanted to make a point, he should have expended his energy convincing the executive branch to have the US military bomb Virginia for 4-20 years. That would have taught those rich brats a lesson.
I'm not so sure he's a deranged madman. That's my point. He was just depressed and stupid.
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