RUE Seeks Measly $1,000,000,000.00 Bailout

Rusty Enterprises Co. Inc. Ltd., a very, very limited liability company (RUE), announced yesterday that it needs a mere $1Billion US to meet its current financial obligations. RUE Chief Chief Chief OneEar urged law-makers to put partisanship aside in order to stabilize RUE's shaky financial situation.

"This is shaping up to be MOAB, the Mother of All Bank Runs," noted Ear. "Unless the people want a severe melt-down, the Congress needs to get off its Duff and send me $1Billion."

Ear resisted providing details on how he would spend the $1Billion. "Treasury Czar Paulson is seeking $700Billion. Why don't you worry about him and leave us alone?" queried Ear. "All we need is 1 little billion dollars."

Ear left open the possibility that he may be back in the future asking Congress for additional funds. "This crisis has traveled from Wall Street to Main Street. I just want to make sure that it travels down My Street."

4 Mo Years

Perhaps the FU should withdraw its support from L.Ron Paul and instead attach it to Geo. Bush. Only he appears to embrace the Colyp School of Financial Money which relies upon an intricate system of credit card cash advances.

According to the Treasury Department, from 1776-2000, the first 224 years
of U.S. history, 42 U.S. presidents borrowed a combined $1.01 trillion from
foreign governments and financial institutions, but in the past four years
alone, the Bush administration borrowed $1.05 trillion.
http://www.cnsnews.com/ViewNation.asp?Page=%5CNation%5Carchive%5C200511/NAT20051104b.html

All that I can tell my kids is, "You're welcome."

BTW - Note that the above reference was from 2005!?!

Das Krapital Forthcoming

Coco makes a good point. Screw armageddon! There really is no point to the end of time. Plus, I'm tired of warning you and of saving your asses.

Let's get on with the revolution!

Becoming a Marxist; Pointers sought

Discontent for my job has developed into disdain for work in general. As a result, I have thought about becoming a Marxist.

Would anyone out there be able to point me in the right direction toward achieving this? Is there a home-study course?

Is there a health plan for Marxists?

Thanks in advance for the help.

Your pal,
CNG

Home Riot Program Undergoes Name Change

You may recall that I recently expressed the sentiment, "If they don’t stop depicting us as a bunch of crazed, violent fanatics, I am going to blow something up!? (original post) I then revealed my new Home Rioting program which was referred to as DI_ (fill in the blank with a Y).

Well, it turns out that a certain three letters of the alphabet constitute a trademarked trademark. We all learned how complicated intellectual property law can be during Coco's unsuccesful efforts to trademark water. You can pick your battles, as they say, but you can't pick your friend's nose. Having said that, the program will be renamed. Yes, I am caving in to the bowers that pee. But I will make lemonade out of this piss.

We now offer exclusive franchising opportunities in "Cozy Expressions Home Rioting." This is more of a pyramid system than a Ponzi scheme, although it does contain the benefits of both. We promise you will never have to work a day in your life again. You'll spend your leisure time trashing your living room and trying to cajole your friends and loved ones into joining. What could be better? And you can Do It ALL Yourself.

Rustianist Manifesto

Workers of the world unite!


A spectre is haunting the physical world -- the spectre of Rustianism. All the powers of old corporality have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spirit: Bush and Coca-Cola, Wal-Mart and Martha Stewart. Why are the powerful so vehemently opposed to unbridled Rustiosity? We must ask ourselves, where is the party? Where is the bean dip?





What shall come to pass?

• Abolition of primate property. All privates shall be public.
• Progresso income tax. Anyone earning soup income incurs a hearty, man-sized tax.
• Repeal of the death tax repeal.
• Nationalization of the means of reproduction. All sperm emitters employed by the federal government.
• Destruction of the middling class.
• Free love (or at least 2 for 1).

This is not one choice of many, and it cannot be denied; It is a historical imperative, a dialectic that cannot be undialecticified, a conclusion that is foregone. This has already happened, although in a future time. Prepare yourselves for a new age!

Details will follow in the forthcoming das Krapital.