Rustwater Intelligence Police for Cash

The First Unichurck and RUE Enterprises Inc. Ltd. LLC, a faith-based initiative, have teamed up for a new joint venture in paramilitary policing - Rustwater Intelligence Police for Cash. RIP for Cash will be less of a vigilante mob than a highly-trained professional group of armed mercenaries. Rustwater is excited to enter the corporate war industry which continues to experience unprecedented growth and opportunities for expansion.

It is undisputed that the private sector supplies services more cost effectively than governments, so the rise of private armies is a welcome improvement in the efficient use of deadly force. Rustwater executives look forward to having cool choppers, planes, guns, and missiles and the prerogative to use them without the wasteful, inefficient restrictions created by bureaucracy and government oversight.

It has not yet been determined where the Rustwater mercenary army will operate. The market in Iraq is considered saturated, but Rustwater sees growth opportunities in other regions. Rustwater intends to specialize in thought policing and shooting people.

"Some people out there actually think they are free to believe in their own beliefs," indicated an anonymous Rustwater spokesman/woman/transgender, "and we see this unfortunate situation not as a problem but as an opportunity. Those are the people that we need to fix. Wherever there are people that need to be enlightened, whether through killing or other forms of behavior modification, Rustwater will be there."

For reasons that are too complicated for you to understand but which are entirely benevolent, Rustwater will be headquartered in Dubai.