Dear Sirs: I am writing to complain about the content of your website. A man who attacks God only harms himself.
Dear Concerned: I believe the politically correct phraseology is "A man who attacks God only harms him/her/transgender's self." What makes you believe you are viewing content?
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Dear OneEar: Why are you defending pedophiles? At least NBC is catching these sickos.
Dear Pedophobe: I believe pedophiles should be summarily executed. However, I also believe that about non-pedophiles. If the police or TV executives would just administer random lethal injections, that would put an end to many of society's problems.
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Dear OneEar: What is your problem with Pluto?
Dear Pluto-lover: Why don't you go love Pluto, Pluto-lover.
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Dear OneEar: You are an idiot.
Dear Mom: It is nice to hear from you.
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Dear OneEar: Why do you assume that anyone with flesh-colored tights must have a prosthetic leg?
Dear Hop-along: Never trust anyone in flesh-colored tights.
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Dear OneEar: You make many spelling and grammatical errors.
Deer spellchekir: I practice English make more better.
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Dear OneEar: When treating cheesy discharge, diurer, and anal bleeding, where do you apply the salve?
Dear LBok: Over the eyes.
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Dear OneEar: What are the 10 rules for good living?
Dear Good Liver: 1) Don't drink to excess while holding your computer on your lap. You might read something funny and then you'll have that beer/snot all over the keyboard and monitor. 2) Don't covet your neighbor's wife when his daughter is over the age of consent. 3) Sprouts of any kind are not people food. 4) Don't count on escalating borrowing to save your business or country. 5) Don't buy the grenadine. 6) To keep your feet soft and baby-like, wear heavy wool socks. 7) Always put your car-keys in the same pocket. Ex. left pocket of outermost garment. Then, you won't be able to leave your coat somewhere and you'll always know where to reach for your keys. 8) You should probably turn off the circuit breaker before you attempt to replace that switch. 9) People will make fun of you if the dish to pass you bring is a bag of ice, but then they'll want some. 10) Try to laugh at someone each and every day.
The only official site of The First Unification Church of Kooking (fka the First Unification Church of Knowledge)(aka 1st Unichurck) and its house band, the Clown Squad (Affiliated with the community service organization The Underminers' Society of America). --THIS BLOG IS FOR RELIGIOUS, SCIENTIFIC AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY--(Not tested on animals)
6 comments:
Hi OneEar,
Have you considered becoming a running mate with Ron Paul in his bid for the presidency in 2008?
This is an excellent post...
What kind of salve are you putting on your liver?
Dear ML, very good idea. I'm not sure what all is entailed in being VP, but I do have a shot-gun and no compunction whatsoever about shooting my friends in the face.
Doc Bok - My liver is the bedrock of the temple that is my body. Would you like to join me on a hunting excursion?
All you ever do is shoot me in the face. I'm tired of it's unoriginality; copycat. And just LOOK at who you're copying--for shame, for shame.
At least Cocoa has the creativity to shove ice-shards in my eyes when the occasion call for it.
You should wash your hands.
Dok Bok, Don't worry, I'm always working on novel, innovative ways to injure you.
Grant- Good idea, I'll be right back.
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