Showing posts with label Ms. Pineapple. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ms. Pineapple. Show all posts

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Pineapple Abducted!


After having recently solved the space-time hoop question put to her by OneEar, Ms. Pineapple has been selected for higher orders of business by Earth's closest galactic neighbors who have been frustrated until now at the lack of substrate they have been observing in WalMart. It was the Cheerleader Advisor's lack of response to OneEar's inane proposition that first showed up on the observer's radar screen. Expecting a smart-alecky remark from someone with her particular background and social restraints, the Neighbors were intrigued by the silent contemplation. Following this, much to the Neighbor's delight, Pineapple posted a simple mathematical explanation as to why repetitive singularities are impossible within the same material subset (i.e., "our" universe). She also posted the axiom that singularities occur, repeat and are in constant flux, but not within the same dimensional realities. That also, incidentally, explains the single lost sock after the dryer has completed its cycle.
Following Pineapple's posting, the Neighbors deftly manipulated the space-time continuum such that the posting was erased three seconds before it was uploaded, took her out for dinner and drinks, then brought her back to their place where they made mad, passionate love. She earned it, for God's sake. They then eliminated all traces of her on the Internet, along with all of her clothes, and suspended her naked, in a post-orgasmic slumber, over the family farm of that good-looking kid in high-school who said "no" to her invitation to the Sadie Hawkins Dance.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Time/space Infinity Hoop

A while back, K "the Growler" 9 deposited the interesting posit that the Big Bang and the Big Rupture may be the same event!?!

As promised, I asked Ms. Pineapple about the validity of this proposition. I think we may have stumped her.


UPDATE:

OneEar on: 10/26/2006 5:02:08 PM Message:

is it possible/likely that all is a hoop which begins/ends at the same moment of
infinite singularity?

Reply author: CheerCoachBPW Replied on: 11/18/2006 8:40:54 PM Message:

I feel your pain! My cheerleaders started out the same way. My assistant coach and I finally had to sit them down and tell them that one more issue arises we will collect their uniforms! Its hard if you coach pop warner because of the backlash from parents, but the bottom line is...they are there to represent their town! If they can't behave then they have no right to wear the uniform. Or another way to look at it...They won't be able to argue and bicker while doing push-ups! hahahaha. Its works like a charm!


FU Elders will meet over the next several years to decipher exactly what this means relative to the search for a "Grand" Unified Theory and for your soul.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Beast of Burden

Q: Is everything lined up for the upcoming Rusty Sessions?

A: No, this Rusty Sessions is turning into a disaster. I have turned to Ms. Pineapple for help: Let's Synchronize Cheer



Hey you Clowns, cover for me for a few days.