If only there was a way to make an otherwise insignificant boob into an instantly recognizeable celebrity about whom the public can't inquire enough. I've got it. Ron Paul should make a steamy "home-made" sex tape, leak it out, and then try to stop everybody from watching it.
This tried and true technique worked for no less celebrities than Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, and Screech.
I'm not sure whether any previous Presidential candidates have done this, though I believe that Millard Fillmore once infamously sent a rather ribald telegraph transmission to the "wrong" operator. You could get away with that sort of thing if you belonged to the "Know-Nothing Party."
Anyway, back to Ron Paul's enormous support, why not wield it to his advantage? After all, if the public can't determine whom it should adore based upon pornographic home-made videos, then this just isn't the America that I've grown to love.
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8 comments:
Hi OneEar,
I’m surprised there aren’t a few steamy “home-made” sex tapes of Bill Clinton floating around cyberspace; he seems to have a problem keeping it in his pants. A few X-rated flicks might be just what Ron Paul needs to get some exposure and garner attention.
L- Good point - Bill Clinton and Ron Paul writhing in a naked embrace might just win the White House as long as we keep Hillary out of it.
Or, imagine Paris, Pamela, Kim Kardashian, Screech and Ron Paul in one glorious stump video. Who could vote against that? And foreign policy and stuff.
Hi OneEar,
There’s an opening for Mayor in the Antarctic that Hillary could apply for, which would get her out of the equation. Bill Clinton has been asked to help negotiate the Writers’ Guild strike, so obliviously he’s got some pull with the Hollywood crowd. Bring in Ron Paul along with the usual media whores and you might have the makings of political party that the nation has never seen the likes of before. I wouldn’t worry about foreign policy; the current administration certainly doesn’t… $1.6 trillion and counting for the wars in the Middle East.
Litzi, to satisfy my curiosity and the ever increasing need for equal air-time, what is the correct derogatory term for a woman who can't "keep it in her pants"?
Most things in most peoples' pants were designed for sharing, anyhow. Diaper-wearing individuals being the exception, of course. But some people like that, too.
Hi Doc Bok,
The correct derogatory term for a woman who “can’t keep it in her panties” would be Britney Spears…but she seldom wears them, so maybe that’s not apropos. Maybe a ho or a train wreck? Do you have any suggestions?
The Marquis de Sade wrote at length about sharing the stuff in diapers…but that’s rather unconventional or deviant.
I love the music of Sade. It is so hypnotic and soothing; even when advertised on the Marquis.
Hi Doc Bok,
I wasn’t familiar with Sade, so I looked her up on YouTube. Her music has a tropical, haunting feel about it. It’s peaceful and reminds me of Enya. Thanks for introducing me to a new musical talent.
That was a very clever twist on words, doctor! And it shouldn’t upset OneEar and his Carnivore conspiracy theory.
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