You're My Obsession
O
ccasionally I bounce at random through the blogosphere to see what others are rambling on about. I always am struck by the degree to which there are daily, heart-felt posts about ___________ (fill in the blank with any thought that enters your head). Why does it seem as though everyone but me is obsessed with something? From alcoholism to zoology, adoption to zoroastroism, there are blogs dedicated to just about everything. And here we are with nothing but the religion dedicated to synthesizing all other religions.So, I'm looking for something new and trendy about which to obsess. How about one of these:
- Oprah.
- People whose eyes don't line up right.
- Where are my car keys?
- Female human breasts.
- Cute things my dog has done.
- Did I turn off the stove?
- Light switch, light switch, step, back, light switch.
- Celebrity drunkeness.
UPDATE: Nice Goiter!
10 comments:
Hi OneEar,
Why not obsess about “obsessive/compulsive disorders” aka OCD, considering that three of your categories up for consideration have to do with the topic. It would be a change of pace from religion and give you something new to be preoccupied with.
Yes, but which three?
I have decided to obsess about my goiter. Do I have one? Do I need one? If I don't have one and need one, how long is the donor list? Must the donor be dead? Even if he's not an American? Is mine inflamed? Should it be? Can I get it surgically enhanced? How about surgical reduction? Is there an easy way to build one at home? A hard way?
Hi OneEar,
It’s wonderful to learn you’ve found something concrete to obsess about. However, have you considered that a goiter might be painful as well as unbecoming? The woman in the picture has got to be uncomfortable. If you’re thinking about running off to join a carnival or circus, a goiter might be an added benefit, but why would you want that sort of encumbrance if you’re not?
Do you have a goiter? Loser.
Hi Loud But Off Key,
NO, I don’t have a goiter, thank God. Do you???
LBok, As I said, I don't know whether I have a goiter. Your deficient communication skills are troubling. I've read about this lack of the "human element" in the medical community, and I understand that it is quite a problem.
In your professional opinion, what are some of the benefits of having a goiter, and how much does it cost to have one installed. Is there a discount if I buy in bulk?
This is becoming quite a difficult thing about which to obsess. Maybe I'll go back to god.
Difficient communication skills? Skrew you!
Litzi, I was talking to the Lamb. Sorry if I seemed more offensive than usual.
LBok, I am concerned about your inability to spell properly in this age of spell-check. From this, one would infer a complete lack of attention on your part. Imagine if that were my pancreas!?!
I thought you wanted a problem with your thyroid. True, they are both organs in the endocrine system, but I doubt that subtelty is appreciated by a man such as yourself.
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