As soon as we reach the $400,000,000,000.00 milestone in the war on fear of Iraq, I would like to pay my tab and cash out. There are 110M households in the US, so I figure if I throw in $4,000, that should cover my family's share to date plus a tip. By paying off the principal now, I hope to avoid further interest, penalties and dead people.
Granted, if I hadn't spent my money killing people in Iraq, I probably would have blown it on beer, cigars, and my kids' college fund. So, I'm really not all the farther behind, aside from the rotting corpses of parents and children and the world-wide animosity. Still, I really don't feel like paying any more.
People keep telling me that Iraq will evolve into a civil war without US occupation. I continue to wish Iraq the best in pursuing that endeavor. I just don't feel like paying any more.
People keep reminding me that the US was attacked on 9-11 and that the world is different now. True, so how about this for logic. Since the US was attacked and since the world is different, how about letting me keep my money. Perhaps I'll buy some duct tape. I'd even consider buying stock in Exxon-Mobil and Archer-Daniels if that is what you really want.
If we need a kill'em-dead foreign policy, then let's just leave it at that. We can blow people up in fairly short order. If they don't rebuild to our specifications, then we can blow them up again. That would be much cheaper and more straightforward than this "nation-building" nonsense. As it stands, I've spent $4,000 on a $800 job, and they're still messing around. I don't feel like paying any more.
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6 comments:
Tightwad.
I'll handle this one, Coco.
The "Lake effect" was created by Ricki Lake during creation of the hit crossdressing musical "Hairspray."
The gist of it is that many people will attempt to write hit cross-dressing musicals, but, due to the Lake effect, the actors will later
blimp up and star on hit gossip TV shows. This affects whether patterns such as whether we will ever finish this hit cross-dressing musical.
LBok - Did you ever get reimbursement for the guitar that Northwest Airlines redesigned for you?
No, but that is partially due to my failure to fill out the telephone-book-sized questionnaire/application for welfare that was given to me by the well-meaning airline employee. I have thus far been trapped in the intentional "perhaps he won't follow through and we won't have to pay" policy. Apparently, the hour I spent with the employee helping him enter all of the information into their database was not worth anything compared to the time I should have spent making up things in the privacy of my own home.
And, for the record, I thought the "Lake Effect" was something different.
And, I would get out of the habit of tipping the US government; I have been doing it for years out of shear ignorance, and I can guarantee you that they are not familiar with the concept of "To Insure (it should be 'ensure', right Cocoa?) Proper service". I have received very little preferential treament over the years for paying more than everyone else, and this preferential treatment mostly consisted of cordial letters of inquiry from the IRS regarding my whereabouts. If they were serious about this relationship, I think a gift or two wouldn't have hurt anybody, do you?
Hi OneEar,
Loud But Off Key can call me a "tightwad" as well. I'm tired of helping pay for a War that I didn't ask to be waged and would like to see stopped NOW.
You need to pay for your kids' college educations...I still want a Rolex.
Dear Banco de Al:
Please stop processing all of my planned payments to this IRS place. I had no idea they were wasting my hardly earned loaned funds from your institution.
Thank you.
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