- Is it now acceptable to wear shoes? Socks? Pants?
- I understand that all liquids now must be contained in clear (ziplock-type) baggies. Does this apply to personal lubricant? Should you bring extra bags for urine? Can you mix toothpaste, cologne, triple antibiotic and fungal cream in the same bag?
- Is it still ok to bring a 5 Liter bag of wine (after removing the box) to drink in-flight?
- For how long prior to flying must you avoid clipping your nails?
- For how long prior to flying must you avoid voiding?
- Is our current national danger level color Unbelievably Dangerous or Unfathomably Dangerous? Are you supposed to be in a state of panic during the entire flight or only during boarding?
- Can you still sing show tunes during the tail end of the flight (after the wine is getting low)?
- When are you supposed to turn off cell phones? laptops? pace-makers? radial saws?
- Which guy is the Air-Marshall? Is it the guy with the big hat, shiny spurs, and the badge?
- Can you carry on your own handcuffs? gimp suit? gimp?
- Do they still ban fruit and drugs? Even on afternoon flights?
- Do they still discourage passengers from carrying on a crate full of hundreds of pieces of electronic paraphenalia ostensibly used for musical purposes but without any way of proving it because it is all inextricably tangled and the batteries are all dead and there is no amp to plug it all into anyway?
These are a few things I need to know.
