How long have you all known this and not made me aware? I must say I'm very disappointed in the general hierarchy and the parishioners. It reminds me of this.
The only official site of The First Unification Church of Kooking (fka the First Unification Church of Knowledge)(aka 1st Unichurck) and its house band, the Clown Squad (Affiliated with the community service organization The Underminers' Society of America). --THIS BLOG IS FOR RELIGIOUS, SCIENTIFIC AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY--(Not tested on animals)
31 comments:
Hi Doc Bok,
So, you were named after a Korean dish; what an honor! Annyong ha shimnikka.
My favorite Korean meal is Bibimbap, which is a stirred/mixed rice meal. It’s served as a bowl of warm rice topped with sautéed and seasoned vegetables and chili pepper paste. A raw or fried egg and sliced meat (optional for vegans) are common additions. The ingredients are stirred together thoroughly just before eating. Vegetables commonly used are julienned cucumber, zucchini, daikon, mushrooms, bellflower root, soybean sprouts, spinach and tofu. Chicken or seafood may be substituted for beef. The vegetables are often placed so that adjacent colors complement each other. It’s delicious and quite healthy, if you omit the meat.
That "bing bang bong" you mentioned is used by Stephen Colbert in his challenge to Korean pop-star RAIN when he states 'I'll be all over you like egg on bing bang bong'
Litzi, you're not Korean, are you? Were you born Kim Lee Litzi? And then changed your name to "Ms." to seem more all-American? You should've told us before now; we could have made special accommodations and provided you with kimchee instead of eucharist at the sermons.
Hola, Doc Bok!
No, I’m 100% WASP (white anglo saxon protestant)…total honky. I’m merely an aficionado of Korean cuisine. Serving Kimchi at the Eucharist might take some of the parishioners aback…the spicy cabbage concoction could be deemed offensive due to its potent aroma.
Have you tried Bibimbap? There was a delightful Korean restaurant close by that afforded a gorgeous view of the ocean along with fantastic food. It closed and I haven’t located another one, which is strange considering the plethora of Thai and Asian Infusion establishments in the vicinity.
I have had bingbangbong, and I know a girl named Kim Chi--smells like cabbage.
Ha Dok Bok, we've been laughing at you and your mouth full of 산양 공.
Litzi, I can bear witness to the fact that Dok Bok has tried the Korean Bimbobop that you mention. Tried and tried. Never succeeded.
Hi OneEar,
Did you say something nasty in the Asian script? It looks beautiful…
Korean bimbo’s can be a hard sell…you’ve got to promise them exactly the right thing before you hit pay dirt. Oops! That wasn’t PC.
Are there many (any??) Korean restaurants in the Midwest? My uninformed stereotype is a myriad of Steak Houses type establishments.
Litzi, as some of the avid readers of this blog can verify "exactly the right thing to hit pay dirt" is most often 1. simple money or 2.things, such as stocks, that can be liquidated directly back into number 1 above. Green and bling make Korean chicks horny--but, at least they're honest about it, unlike the rest of femininity.
Hi Doc Bok,
Green and Bling turn me on too and I’m honky Wonder bread. I’m honest about my avarice…though I’ve learned to tone it down as I get older. If you really listen to the “rest of femininity”, they’re not really into subterfuge: they’re usually quite overt about what they want/expect out of a relationship.
I'm sorry Litzi, but I can't resist: What do they want/expect out of a relationship? Someone to hand them money and give them everything for free? Just because they happened to be born with a vagina? Because God knows, women don't actually ENJOY sex; it's a gift they give men because they're SO generous, but it's actually not a gift, because they are expecting payment. This is why I think prostitution should be legal; it happens everyday in every relationship, but when you're paying a hooker, at least it's an honest exchange.
Sorry, Litzi. I actually am curious about your view on the topic. The ingrained tendency of our society to raise our daughters to be dependent children when they grow up confuses me a bit. When you're powerless, you pull whatever you can out of your ass, even if it happens to be your hoochie, so I don't blame women for their unaccountability. It just must be nice in some ways, and it must really suck in some ways. But I think they are capable of more.
And we really should raise our expectations.
Because if your parents had raised their expectations a little, you wouldn't be in your self-described "domestic slavery" position; you might be banging some 20-year-old for fun whenever it suits you. Oh, well. Next life.
No offense intended, I hope you realize that.
Sorry Litzi. Please forgive my 40 years of being unable to come to terms with gender disparity. Can you tell why I'm not married?
Hi Doc Bok,
Yes, I can understand why you’re a 40 year old bachelor. When the feminatzi movement led by such infamous women as Gloria Steinem, Germaine Greer, Bella Abzug and Betty Friedan began in the late ‘60’s and early ‘70’s, I had high expectations that the next generation of parents would put a stop to the gender disparity that had been so prevalent in the past. However, after three decades, it doesn’t appear that a lot has changed. Women want to be free to do whatever they damn well please in some aspects of their life but expect to be taken care of and put on a pedestal because they’ve got vaginas (BFD-so does 50% of the world) and they’re not afraid to use or not use them. I’d also hoped that the feminatzi’s would instruct their sons not to be MCP’s, and forgo the gender roles, but that doesn’t appear to be the case either. Judging from some of young men I see around and about, they’re not much different than their father’s or grandfather’s generation in how they relate to women.
Some of the problems stem from the school system. Girls are still raised (brainwashed?) not to be overachievers or outshine the boys in the classroom or the playground. From an early age, females are taught to acquiesce to boys in education, careers, sports, etc. Granted, a lot of them see through the charade, and go their own way. But it’s the young women who’ve submitted tacitly to years of being told how to behave that have caused YOU to feel the way you do. I was fortunate enough to attend a private all girls’ school from kindergarten through high school graduation and saw firsthand that without male competition, the students didn’t feel held back or restrained and strived for excellence in whatever area they pursued.
One final point: sometimes when women DO manage to find a position of authority in the job market, they’re derided, ridiculed and deemed “unfeminine”. So they’re walking a tightrope without a safety net and afraid that if and when they fall, no one’s going to be there to assist them.
It’s not a cake walk for men either. If you pat a woman on the back in the workplace, you worry that she’s going to scream “sexual harassment”. If you try to be a gentleman and open the door for her, you’re called a “sexist pig”. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
My own version of War and Peace!
Oh you guys...
WTF? DBOK. From the last photos you sent, it seemed like you were on top of the world. Maybe you are trying too hard. Stop trying and see what happens.
In sports they say "be the ball" maybe you just need to "be the dick"
Wow. DokBok, did someone ask you to "lend" her some money or put her through school or something?
Keep your eye on the ball.
Litzi, as for women being "put on a pedestal because they’ve got vaginas," this pedestal sounds uncomfortable. I'm going to caution my daughter against that (once she is old enough to have a vagina).
Hi OneEar,
While you’re talking to your daughter, please inform her that it’s okay to excel at whatever she’s interested in, whether that’s schoolwork, sports, art, drama, etc. No person (male or female) should be held back because of gender disparity.
You are the Vincent van Gogh of the First Unichurck.
Hi Cocoa No GoGo! It’s been a while since you’ve said anything!
Litzi,
Did you delete your Wednesday comment and then repost it on Thursday with the following change:
It’s been a while since you’ve been said anything!
to
It’s been a while since you’ve said anything!
or was I drunk?
Hi Cocoa,
Yes, I deleted the comment on Wednesday and reposted it later the same day when I realized there was a grammatical error. You weren’t sloshed!
Litzi,
It's OK to make mistakes. You are a girl after all.
Oh, I was sloshed. It's just I'm still debating whether my drinking has become a problem -- apparently it hasn't b/c I continue to retain my ability for recall.
Cocoa,
Quit callin' me a dick, you stinky drunk.
OneEar,
No loans or schooling (except hard knocks!) of any kind. I actually am having a fair and almost mutually respectful; i.e., less like prostitution, relationship with this one. She pulls her own weight. Now if I could just get her to work on that respect part a little...
Bunderwear,
This whole exchange has been for your entertainment purposes. Since you accused Litzi and I of having a cutesy conversation about Korean cooking, I decided to spice it up a little. You're welcome. And thanks to Litzi for playing along and the boys for putting down their beers to chime in.
But, Bunderwear, we know that YOU will not chime in due to your perpetual disproof of the concept of "idiot-proof" as it pertains to posting on this blog.
Cocoa,
How was that for a little razzamataz? You can't find any of THAT in Zanzibar.
Litzi, I'm not going to lie to my own daughter. Why have you excluded transgender from your comments? Or the momentarily confused, right Bundeskraut?
DokBok, perhaps a traffic cone would work.
Cocoa, it's been a while since you've been anything.
Whoa!
This has turned into a 3-ring circus! If you deem Bunderskraut momentarily cornfused, what do you think I am? Oh right…according to Cocoa, its okay for me…because I’m a girl. I didn’t intend to slight any transgender its from my rants. Is someone in the group a hermaphrodite?
Doc Bok: now if I could just get her to work on that respect part a little. This is for you Respect.
And I thought girls were off-the-wall. The Clown Squad Rocks!
PEACE gentlemen.
Litzi,
That was nice, however, please don't forget: "LBOK" used to stand for "Loud But Off Key". That is one of the few ways that Aretha Franklin and I differ. She tends to be "On Key", which is rather pedestrian and predictable, for an entertainer. Nevertheless, my favorite performance of hers is in Matt Guitar Murphy's soul food diner where Jake Blues ordered four fried chickens and a coke. And his brother Elwood ordered some dry toast. WHITE toast.
OneEar, I've tried the traffic cone a dozen times. It never works.
Hi Doc Bok,
Judging from recent pictures of Aretha Franklin, she appears to be eating her way through four fried chickens and a coke on a regular basis (catty but nevertheless true). That was white of brother Elwood to order dry toast.
Exactly how off key are you?
oh, it's bad. The others can vouch for that.
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