Thank you so much for your justifiable admiration for me and my candidacy, but I must respectfully withdraw from the race to be Second District Sewerage District Commissioner. My family is my top priority, and family obligations have simply made it impossible for me to continue in this race.
The penguin incident was regrettable. I remain unconvinced that one can actually "rape" penguins in the strict legal sense, but I do admit that the romantic encounter I had with them was not entirely consentual. I have no idea as to how the date rape drug ended up in their water supply.
I do admit that I purchased a fairly large quantity of GHB a while back, but after thinking about what I was doing, I threw it all away. It was just one of those things where you read about this drug that all the kids are doing and so you find a drug dealer and purchase a bunch of drugs on a whim but then you decide to throw all the drugs away.
As for the old lady, she was asking for it. I've simply had it with these ad M&M attacks.
Until recently, I always thought that the Reverend Ted Haggard was a hypocritical, bigoted blowhard. However, I must admit to now having a certain degree of empathy and even admiration for him. Not every closeted homosexual meth user can rise to be head of a 14,000 member church. Unfortunately, voters in the Second Sewerage District are not quite as compassionate as I am, and for that I pity them.
Mrs. Ear sent me an email asking me to make it clear that her support, undying devotion and respect continue unabated. Ditto with the kids.
The only official site of The First Unification Church of Kooking (fka the First Unification Church of Knowledge)(aka 1st Unichurck) and its house band, the Clown Squad (Affiliated with the community service organization The Underminers' Society of America). --THIS BLOG IS FOR RELIGIOUS, SCIENTIFIC AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY--(Not tested on animals)
Showing posts with label delusions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label delusions. Show all posts
Monday, November 06, 2006
Friday, September 15, 2006
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Iran, Iran So Far Away
(thanks to John McCain)
Oh, Bomb, bomb, bomb,
Bomb, bomb, Iran.
Bomb, bomb, bomb,
Bomb, bomb, Iran.
Oh, Bomb Iran.
Take my plan
And bomb Iran
You've got us thrilling and killing
blood it is a-spilling
bomb Iran
Bomb, bomb
bomb, bomb Iran.
Went to Baghad
Thought that we'd been had
Thought "bomb Iran"
It couldn't be as bad
to bomb Iran
bomb, bomb
bomb, bomb Iran
That is the plan
We've given you lots of rope
And a stage for your dope
Let's bomb Iran
Bomb, bomb
bomb, bomb Iran
Tried to beat our chest,
Tried to beat our chest,
Beat our chest again but we still had a mess
Let's bomb Iran
Bomb, bomb
bomb, bomb Iran
Oh, Bomb, bomb, bomb,
Bomb, bomb, Iran.
Bomb, bomb, bomb,
Bomb, bomb, Iran.
Oh, Bomb Iran.
Take my plan
And bomb Iran
You've got us thrilling and killing
blood it is a-spilling
bomb Iran
Bomb, bomb
bomb, bomb Iran.
Went to Baghad
Thought that we'd been had
Thought "bomb Iran"
It couldn't be as bad
to bomb Iran
bomb, bomb
bomb, bomb Iran
That is the plan
We've given you lots of rope
And a stage for your dope
Let's bomb Iran
Bomb, bomb
bomb, bomb Iran
Tried to beat our chest,
Tried to beat our chest,
Beat our chest again but we still had a mess
Let's bomb Iran
Bomb, bomb
bomb, bomb Iran
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