Saturday, September 28, 2013

OneEar's Unsolicited Admissions

In a surprise announcement today, FU leader OneEar admitted that he has not always been faithful to the sheep in his flock.

"There was a difficult time when I didn't want to f^ck my own sheep, so I f^cked someone else's sheep for awhile. We worked through it and it is over. My children and the sheriff's department all know about this and they are fine with it. It has no bearing on my capacity to lead, and the ASPCA can lick my santorum."

OneEar claims that this experience actually strengthened the bond between himself and his flock. "Hey, one of them got f^cked by a stray dog, so I don't want to hear any gruff," said Mr. Ear. Ear denies the sporadic rumor that he fathered a love-kid with one of the estranged sheep, and he further denies screwing any rams. "Come on, I'm not a homo," said Mr. Ear.

2 comments:

Attila the Mom said...

You dirty, dirty slut.

The next thing you know, you're going to claim that because you "sort have, might have, maybe not have" shared a bed with Rusty during his reign as the head of the Unichuck that you're absolutely qualified to take his place.

Next thing you know, you're going to pretend that you're actually a black sheep.

Slut.

Litzi said...

Hi OneEar,
Try chanting “Hail Mary full of….” a few times. It probably won’t help your soul but might alleviate your conscious.